Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hi everyone, I'm new to this support group but for the last couple weeks I've been reading everyone's posts. Thank you! They've gotten me through a lot. I had my miscarriage at 12 weeks on May 21st. The same afternoon I had a d&C. I was considered high risk because of past blood clots and had already had 2 ultrasounds so I have pictures of my angel which almost makes it harder. Anyway, my follow-up appointment was this past Tuesday, June 10th. It was TERRIBLE! I knew I'd probably come across other pregnant woman, but I never thought it would have bothered me as much as it did. When I walked in my dr.'s office, the whole waiting room was almost completely full. As I sat down I noticed every woman was visibly pregnant. At that moment, I felt a rush of heat come over me and my stomach was in knots. Then I was holding back tears. I didn't want to break down in front of all those people. I felt like I had walked into a bad nightmare. I just remembered being them, sitting there all excited and waiting for my ultrasound. I should be happy for them, but instead I was completely jealous. And also, the reminder that I'm not pregnant was very overwhelming. I had no idea that appointment would have been so emotional for me. When I finally got into the back room waiting for my doctor, I broke down and just sobbed. Even after my appointment, I cried all the way home and the rest of the evening I was so depressed. I know it's normal but will these roller coaster emotions ever subside? Has this happened to anyone? I thought I was doing pretty good handling my emotions by talking with my family and friends and even they have commented on how well they thought I was doing. I didn't expect this.
sam23
I have been in your shoes before and it is tough. For me it took a while to be able to see pregnant women or even new babies. However it will pass in time. Just hang in there and remember it is ok to cry and let your feelings out. Its all part of the heeling process.
deleted_user
It is strange I lost my baby at 22 weeks on the exact day as you05/20/08 at 2:20 am and went in for an appointment with the dr.on the the 10 I too felt this exact same way and I am having a hard time getting over it. I have to go back on the 17 and I dont want to because of the reminder.I will go anyways hopefully by then it will have passed .My best friend right now just happens to be preg and I am having trouble talking with her.I feel so envious of her it hurts but I love her and I know its not her fault.Time will heal us Just be patient.
deleted_user
My experience is a bit different. I haven't had much trouble seeing other pregnant women or hearing about them. I'm even a volunteer in the nursery at church. But I cracked yesterday. My brother-in-law's fiancee's sister is pregnant. She is basically on the same schedule as I was. I lost my son at 17 weeks in February. My father-in-law called yesterday and joyfully announced the baby shower that is this weekend for the sister. It reminded me of where I should be right now. I'm angry and jealous about this situation. My husband and I tried for 3 years to get pregnant and lost our child. The sister messed around with multiple guys and got pregnant and still has her baby. I'm having a great deal of trouble dealing with this specific situation.
deleted_user
Sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience. When I went in for my check-up with my 1st m/c they were nice enough to give me a room to myself right when I got there and a lady had the nerve to complain right in front of me and asked why I get to go back when she had been waiting for awhile. I wanted to say a few choice words, but held back. The second m/c I went to a different doctor and it was full of pregnant women. It was so sad and I felt really alone. Then the nurse called my ectopic pregnancy my little friend. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to crawl into a hole and not come out until the pain went away.
deleted_user
I feel your pain, I had my D&C just yesterday, the shear thought of looking at other healthy pregnant and new moms has become nauseating to me. I become very jealous and angry about the little one that I don't get to hold in my arms. Please don't be afraid to cry and let it all out, it really helps.
deleted_user
I have that happen almost everyday I go to work we have 5 people at work pregnant and they talk about being pregnant all the time even though they know I lost my baby. 3 of them are due when I was supposed to be due...July 3oth. Its ok to be jelous. Its sucks to not have the happiness they have. Hang in there. Lots of hugs! Hang in there it does get better with time : )
deleted_user
I had a mc at 12 wks also and also had a D&C, just last week. I know how you feel. Everytime I turn around I see someone that's pregnant. It's hard for obvious reasons but our hormones are so out of control for a while because our pregnancy hormones are decreasing. Just allow yourself to feel how you feel even if it may be irrational. This is a part of of the way you grieve.
deleted_user
I recently lost my twins at 14 weeks on Feb. 27. I had just had my second ultrasound and they couldn't find the heartbeats. I had to go back to my dr's office and i didnt want to. I didn't want to see all those pregnant women. I cried the whole way there and my dr said i had to have a d&c. I had to wait a whole week to have the d&c. It's been almost 4 months and i am still sad and majorly depressed but i am healing. Time makes healing. It's also hard for me because my best friend is pregnant right now and i am upset that she gets to have her 3rd baby and i lost mine. It does get a little easier each day.
deleted_user
I had to go back in three times for blood work after my miscarriage - each time was very difficult. The last time there were two women with their new babies, I suppose for their 6 week checkups. It was so hard to sit in the waiting room - it would be so nice if the doctors would be sensitive to this and provide somewhere else to wait. I work with a lady who is expecting her first in November, right before my due date. I am dreading having to deal with the baby shower, etc.
Join the Conversation