Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
It was two weeks ago tomorrow that we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I'm feeling physically much better and have days where I feel "ok" emotionally, where I can go an hour or so without thinking about the sadness and loss. However, in my career I spend my days with pregnant women and babies, and so it does make it hard even to get a break in thinking about it. For some reason today was harder than others in that respect. I was sitting there with this young pregnant woman and I had such strong feelings of jealousy and resentment and sadness. I can do ok at work with staying professional and being kind and supportive, but it kind of makes me a wreck when I get home.
The other thing that feels hard is that it seems like my husband has kind of "moved on." As I write this he's sitting in his recliner happily watching a football game, and a part of me wants to yell in his face-how can you be happy right now!? I know that this was hard for him too but it seems like he was less attached to this baby...maybe because he wasn't carrying her? I'm trying hard to not be angry with him but it's hard right now.
I am seeing a therapist, which was a hard step for me because I'm in a "helping profession" and so it's like going to see one of my colleagues. But, I'm finding it very comforting and helpful to have somebody who is paid just to listen to me! I'm really, really hoping that a day comes when this pain feels like a distant memory, although I know this baby will be in my heart forever.
Just needed to share-thanks for listening.
The other thing that feels hard is that it seems like my husband has kind of "moved on." As I write this he's sitting in his recliner happily watching a football game, and a part of me wants to yell in his face-how can you be happy right now!? I know that this was hard for him too but it seems like he was less attached to this baby...maybe because he wasn't carrying her? I'm trying hard to not be angry with him but it's hard right now.
I am seeing a therapist, which was a hard step for me because I'm in a "helping profession" and so it's like going to see one of my colleagues. But, I'm finding it very comforting and helpful to have somebody who is paid just to listen to me! I'm really, really hoping that a day comes when this pain feels like a distant memory, although I know this baby will be in my heart forever.
Just needed to share-thanks for listening.
it's been about 4 months since my miscarriage and just today, while I was picking up my daughter from school, one of the teachers there is so pregnant that she's ready to pop. My daughter, who is six, asked me, "Why are you looking like you're mad at Ms. Thompson?"
nice.
My fiancee acted a lot of the same way. I snapped at him one day because he wasn't bothered by hearing the words "pregnant" or "baby" or see pictures of diapers on the tv or whatever, like I was at first. I had assumed he no longer cared about what happened, and he explained to me that he deals with things differently. Most men (typically) tend to push things out of sight and out of mind - holding things in. It's something their dads taught them when they were younger; to be tough, and so on. And then my fiancee, who had been acting like nothing bad ever happened, broke down and expressed how upset he actually was, and a lot of his attitude was attributed to staying strong and being my rock.
Just keep pushing forward.
Take care!
I totally understand the "husband thing" cos, everyone else gets on with things!
I did read that a woman sees and bonds with a baby when she conceives, a man when the baby is born and im beginning to think this is true!