Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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MomHopes 01/27/2009

I had my follow-up appt. after my D&C today. I did not realize how hard it would be. Luckily there were not many patients in the office as we are having a huge snow storm so I didn't have to sit with a bunch of pregnant women in the waiting room. But once I got back to the exam room I just started crying. I kept thinking about the last time I was in that room - DH was with me and we were so excited. The doctor was excited too, everyone was congratulating us. Then we moved to the u/s room and got the dreaded news that the baby's heartbeat had stopped. Today I just sat there trying to avoid reading all the signs on the wall that said "attention expectant mothers." It was awful, I felt so alone and the tears just started flowing. Physically the appt went well and the doctor said everything looked fine, but emotionally it was awful. I cried the entire way home.

Anyway, thanks for listening, I guess I'm just venting here. DH is supportive but doesn't seem to get how hard this was for me today.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

Such a personal thing that we go through, we need the support of others but their understanding is not a full one when they are lacking in this experience on themselves, either because they are men or are lucky enough to not ever experience it.
You were braver than I, I did not even enter the waiting room, but stood out in the corridor next to the exit until my appointment time, it was all I could do to hold back the flow of tears.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

I know that the DH's just don't get it. I'm glad he is supportive though. I guess you went alone? When I went I wondered if I should have had someone with me. It was hard, I felt like the only one in there under 50 that wasn't pregnant. There was a couple in there looking at their ultrasound pictures. I buried my head in a magazine.

I'm sorry for your loss and I think everything you felt today was normal. Come and vent here because call all understand 100%!

deleted_user 01/27/2009

Oh my gosh it was the hardest thing ever! WHenI had my appointment there were tons of pregnant women ion there. I chose to go by myself because I tend to cry around my husband because he is my rock and he is the only person I open up to. So I went alone and I'm glad I did. It was hard to re-live the worst day of my life in the same room. I got very teary eyed but I managed not to cry till I left and then I let it all out. It's so much harder then I thought it would be. Good thing its over now.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

I am with you. My follow up I sat in a waiting room full of pregnant women crying my eyes out. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

It is heart breaking... I'm so sorry for your loss. You will feel that sadness for a long time.. and then it will start to get easier. I know for myself, I would sometimes think I was fine... I wouldn't even be thinking about it... then I would see a reminder *maybe a pregnant lady, or something else*... that would trigger my emotions. That's normal... but it will get easier. *HUGS*

deleted_user 01/27/2009

My Follow-up was awful. First the doc was late so I was stuck in the waiting room with a few preggos and I had to watch them get up every 5 mins to go to the restroom (My God i was jealous of them having to go pee so much.) The only saving grace was they didn't put me in the same room that I was on before. The nurse told me I looked like I hadn't been doing well, and it was hard. I am so glad I had a book with me so I didn't need to see everything else in room.

You are right my DH is supportive but he's a man so he can't understand. I can't even cry cus he get's upset. (sigh)

deleted_user 01/27/2009

It is hard to go back to that room where all of your dreams were taken away. That is kinda how it felt when they told me the News. I'm sorry I hope you feel better.

lvnikita 01/27/2009

Going back to the place we found out we lost our little ones is so difficult and you are a strong woman for doing so. I wouldn't do it. I still have the same doctor but requested a different office. Hang in there, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

My follow up appt tmrw.... Ugh

deleted_user 01/27/2009

I totally understand that. I went through the same thing when I had to schedule my D & E at my doctors office. Usually the office was not that busy and of course monday when I went in with my DH to schedule the surgery there were pregos everywhere. I lost it in the waiting room. And of course when my doctore decided to "confirm" that there was no heartbeat again. Just hang in there, You are I are not alone. I am trying to get passed it and you will too. Time heals all. Let us know how you are doing with updates and if you ever need to vent everyone is here for you!!!

Nicole

deleted_user 01/27/2009

The waiting room experience is terrible. I'm sorry you had to go through it. I just had my second MC in December, DH and I both had to go in for labs. It was New Years Day. Not only were there pregnant women everywhere, but there was a baby crawling around on the floor, Grandma thought it was cute. He kept coming right at us. When we finally got back to the lab, I completely lost it and passed out from the effort of trying to maintain my composure. If I ever (please God no) ever have to go thru this again, I will sit in the hallway and have them text me when they are ready for me.

deleted_user 01/28/2009

well now i'm totally looking forward to seeing my doc tomorrow!!! trust me i am not. like most of u, the last time i went was with dh who took time off from work and we spent a good time with the secretary joking about pregnancy and all to look forward to. i even arranged my future pre-natal appointments with her. now i have to look forward to going in and sitting in a room full of 1st time parents or women who will be ready to pop in a couple of days. i just hope the wait time won't be long, because i don't think it will be appropriate to bawl in front of these people...they'll probably think i escaped from the psych ward!!! i just hope and pray that i will receive a clean bill of health and that this will somehow be a positive experience.

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