Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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dani0828 09/25/2015

I'm 34, and we've been trying to get pregnant for 2 years. We've had five failed artificial insemination procedures, and then switched to IVF. I was finally pregnant! Joy filled my heart, and I began to hope and believe that our dream of having a baby was actually possible after all that we had been through. I had always believed that since my sisters and mother and grandmothers had never had miscarriages, that my only battle would be getting pregnant, not staying that way. I was so shocked when after 6 weeks I had a miscarriage ( 19 Sept. 2015). I am numb. I am empty. I can't eat, i can't drink. I just want to sleep all day, but I can't even do that so I lay in bed crying instead. I feel like I did everything right. I am a vegetarian, i exercise, i took all my shots and meds on time...and i still lost my baby. I feel so hopeless now for the future. Has anyone else out there had a first pregnancy end in miscarriage and the second one a success? I turn 35 in a few weeks, and I just feel like my time is running out. I want to know what went wrong. I want to know if it was something we can fix, because I am in such a dark place right now, i don't know if i am strong enough to survive another heart break as i know others have done. I am at the end of my rope. I am mourning my baby, who i loved with my entire being for those few weeks, and i am also mourning what i feel like will never be a reality for me: motherhood. How can i get past this? I am in a foreign country with no support groups and no close friends. I feel so alone.

Turtlepower 09/26/2015

hi Dani, I am so, so sorry for your loss! I know what it feels like. My first pregnancy also ended in miscarriage, at around 6 weeks. I had also just moved across the country a few months before, so I was far away from my family and around people I didn't know well. I know you loved your little one so much, even though you were together just a short time. The length of the pregnancy doesn't have to do with the depth of love we feel for our children. I did end up getting pregnant again, but it took a year, and it was one long and difficult year. You CAN get pregnant again, but it won't erase your sadness over your first child. I still think of the little baby we might have had, even though we are about to have our other baby in a few weeks. The best thing you can do is try to find people to talk to who understand, and try to go easy on yourself. Don't expect that the mourning will be over quickly. I found this website to be surprisingly helpful, so if nothing else, you can turn here. It's really tough when your family hasn't been through the same thing you have. My mom did have a few miscarriages, but only after she had already had children, so she never felt that horrible fear that it would never happen for her. It was hard for her to relate. I know that this is hardly any consolation, but if you got pregnant once it CAN happen again. That's the silver lining on this awful and unfair situation. Your time does not run out at 35. Be kind to yourself and don't lose hope.

dani0828 09/29/2015

Thank you so much for your reply Turtlepower. I am so happy for your good news, but also sorry for your loss. That is exactly how I feel...this dread, this fear that if it happened this time, it will happen again and again and again because we haven't had a baby yet. And it is scary to me because the doctors don't know why we are having problems. I'm afraid that there is something wrong with me and they just haven't run enough tests to find it. They have done so many tests on me already though, and had me on blood thinners and progesterone shots and none of it was able to save my baby. I am also scared of going through IVF again...it was a very painful experience for me. But your story does give me some hope. Thank you again for your kind words. This last week has been the loneliest week of my life. Although heartbreaking, reading the stories of others going through similar struggles has helped me so much.

rrf1127 10/08/2015

Hi Dani,

I just had a miscarriage on Tuesday this week. It was my first pregnancy after over a year and half of trying. I am 36 years old and like you worried that I am not getting any younger. I decided to join this forum for support and try to help others. I hope someday I will be ready to try again. Please don't let your age deter you from trying. If anyone else has any advice on how you deal with all of this I would appreciate it.

Rach301 12/05/2015

Hi Dani

I was very unlucky and I had 2 miscarriages in a row. I was 3rd time lucky and gave birth to my 1st child at 32 years old in 2014.

My tests came back all clear, apart from one. I paid out for a very expensive tests, that some doctors believe in and others don't. It's a good job I did because I did have slightly raised Nk cells, known as Natural Killer Cells. This is normally VERY rare for a woman to have this, it's not common.

I would only have this carried out if you had 2 or 3 miscarriages in a row.

Sometimes I think to myself, would I have had my 3rd pregnancy without the medication for the No cells. No one in my family had this issue, and my sister didn't have any miscarriages, but I guess everyone's body is different and my mum did have 2 miscarriages! So who knows, maybe I was just very unlucky, or maybe the treatment did actually help protect my 3rd pregnancy.

You could carry out tests, the main ones being the blood test to check for blood clotting and the progrestrone 21 day blooqd test. You can Google this, type progrestrone tests, miscarriage.
Might also be good to check ur blood type. Rh negative blood type can effect a pregnancy, Google this. You can get an Injection, if he blood type is negative.

Also some women take 81mg of baby aspirin when they discover their pregnant, he blood become much thicker in pregnancy and can clot, this can cause a miscarriage,especially if u have a b!old c!otting issue. Also some women take it as a means of safeguarding their pregnancy . This is what I did, BUT U MUST speak to the GP/DOCTOR FIRST.

Wish u luck

Rachel x

Rach301 12/05/2015

Opps sorry for typing errors,hope my message makes sense.

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