Its been about 3 months since my miscarriage and its been a bumpy road. However, over the last few weeks i've felt like I was getting back to normal. But the other day my boyfreind was talking about his freinds new baby and how he couldnt wait for us to have children one day. I replied by saying that I didnt want to be pregnant ever agian. Its not that I dont want children, but lately I just dont think I can go through another pregnancy. It was hard enough losing one baby I couldnt take another failed pregnancy. I feel like the idea of pregnancy has been ruined for me, its no longer this excited experience in my mind, it just seems like nine months of holding my breath. I've even contemplated getting my tubes tide and other forms of perminant birth control to prevent myself from ever having another devastating miscarriage. I just dont know how to get passed the fear.
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