Well my new year's gift was AF arriving on New Year's Day, and my due date would have been next Friday the 16th. However, as I would have been scheduled for a 3rd c-section, she probably would have been born next Monday or Tuesday. I really and truly thought I would have been pg again by now, as I was 5 years ago (by the due date of my 1st mc, I was already 5 or 6 months pregnant with my daughter.) By now, I am over the "sharp" part of the sadness, and it is just depressing. TTC month after month with lots of spotting after ovulation is kind of getting to me - although I am keeping my spirits up for most of the month - until I am sure that AF is coming - then I get much more upset. I still am not sure how to memorialize my little Hope Marie - I still have the dried flowers in a vase that DH's office sent after the D&C - I will either scatter them outside next week or tie them with a ribbon and put them away somewhere. But nothing else seems right - although I did get her a Christmas ornament for the tree. And on top of everything, I got a box of formula in the mail yesterday, and a whole envelope full of "you're almost there" stuff today. I never even signed up for this stuff! So I am guessing that this will be a tough week - with lots of reminders coming through the mail slot. I would love advice on how to get through this without bothering DH or being grouchy to my kids! Thanks again for all the support people here have given me!