Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Tomorrow is my son's 2nd birthday. It is also the day that would have been my first ultrasound, the day I would have heard my baby's heartbeat. I had planned on taking the entire day off--the morning for my unborn baby and the afternoon for my son (having his 2 year checkup) and then pulling together last minute details for his party. Now I'm afraid I will forever remember my son's 2nd birthday as the day I didn't get to see his little brother or sister squirm inside me. Thankfully, his actual party isn't until Saturday, but I still feel so guilty that on his birthday I'll be grieving my other child. I also feel guilty that when I need time to journal or be on this site, it's taking time away from him. And then when I'm playing with him, part of me feels guilty that I'm not crying. I know the guilt isn't logical, but the heart doesn't know logic. I feel torn between my earth baby and my angel baby. Has anyone else ever felt like that?
deleted_user
awww...honey everything you are feeling is normal. The guilt is suffocating at times. You need to allow yourself to grieve. Take the time you need to heal. It is a slow process. I am sure you are a great mom. And I am sure you give your 2 year old plenty of love. Hang in there. I hope you find peace and solace on your journey to healing.
deleted_user
I know this will be hard day for you. I know you are there for your son and love him completely and totally even if you feel unsure. I know your unborn baby is with you today even though you can't hold her/him. I know this journey may feel impossible so I'm sending you strength to take it one step at a time.
deleted_user
dont go down that path if you can ... i have been thru the same thing and never looked back again cause i know its a dark tunnel i'l never get out of.....
inmemoryofjo
Thank you all. The day started out rough. I have been extremely fortunate with unexpected support that some of our friends here have not had. My company does not have any policy to grant bereavement leave for a miscarriage (I doubt any companies do), but my vacation/sick time was nearly used up, and my husband insisted that I call and ask about bereavement anyway. It turns out that my HR manager as well as her director have both had miscarriages. It took them all of two minutes to get back to me and grant the bereavement time, regardless of policy. The director also gave me a little wriggle room once I returned to work this week. She said if I have a day I just can't handle it to let her know. Today was that day. Again, I realize how blessed I am to have encountered this understanding at work. I left work at noon and drove home (an hour away) and spent time with the DH and son. It got easier after that, and I will turn my focus toward his birthday party which is tomorrow (actually, later today). Thank you for listening. It is nice to be able to vent here, and you are all so kind. It's been 8 days since my D&C, and I can almost tell by the look in the eyes when someone I'm speaking with has mc before themselves. They just react differently than anyone else to the news. Others, no matter how much they care, cannot offer the same understanding and support as someone who has been there. You are all so wonderful.
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