Tomorrow is my son's 2nd birthday. It is also the day that would have been my first ultrasound, the day I would have heard my baby's heartbeat. I had planned on taking the entire day off--the morning for my unborn baby and the afternoon for my son (having his 2 year checkup) and then pulling together last minute details for his party. Now I'm afraid I will forever remember my son's 2nd birthday as the day I didn't get to see his little brother or sister squirm inside me. Thankfully, his actual party isn't until Saturday, but I still feel so guilty that on his birthday I'll be grieving my other child. I also feel guilty that when I need time to journal or be on this site, it's taking time away from him. And then when I'm playing with him, part of me feels guilty that I'm not crying. I know the guilt isn't logical, but the heart doesn't know logic. I feel torn between my earth baby and my angel baby. Has anyone else ever felt like that?
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