Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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crying at work

MollyKH
MollyKH
I had my second miscarriage (this one at 12 weeks, after hearing a healthy heartbeat - I was so hopeful!) and d&c a week ago, and am dealing with such overwhelming grief. I hadn't told anyone at work I was pregnant, so I also haven't been able to let anyone know what is going on with me. I am having such a hard time focusing, and just start crying at the drop of a hat. I don't know if I should let people know what's going on or not... at times I think it's easier to just keep it to myself, but I'm worried that everyone is going to think I'm a basketcase without knowing the reason.
CarrieDawn
CarrieDawn
Is there one person at work that you feel you can really trust and talk to. It seems like it might feel good to let somebody know. The problem with telling most people is that, unless they've lost a child, they just don't understand and say things that are just not helpful and can be very hurtful. I am a stay at home mom and wife and I can't imagine having to go to work after losing a baby. I was a mess for weeks after losing each of my 4. I'm so very sorry for your losses. The way you're acting is totally normal so don't let anyone make you feel like you should be "over it" already. Take your time to grieve and you'll be okay again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with Carrie, is there one person that you would be able to confide in? Sometimes just sharing it with someone really helps, I had a ton of breakdowns at work but unfortuneately everyone knew why because I work at the clinic where I get my healthcare. I am so sorry for your loss and don't think that you would ever have to hide your grief, it is what you need to do right now. Big Hugs.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Like the others said, maybe if there is one person. Maybe your manager? I have a very caring manager so I could do it but not everyone is so lucky. I told everyone at work immediately because I felt so sick from the start. When I lost the baby, it helped because they all knew I was a little tuned out and they were supportive. No one said anything inappropriate so I was lucky.

You might want to tell someone higher up just in case you need to take some extra time off or leave early. I think sometimes men are afraid so they won't say much or hesititate. Women that have never been through this may not be as easy to deal with but I'm finding as I share, many people I know share with me that they either have gone through this or know someone that has.

Thinking of you...
lvnikita
lvnikita
Crying at the drop of a hat is so normal... Having one miscarriage is so difficult, two is so much more... I agree with everyone else, if you can find someone to talk to at work, that may be helpful. Hang in there. And allow yourself time to grieve.
MollyKH
MollyKH
Thank you to all of you... I very much appreciate the kind words and advice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand how u feel I sometimes do the same almost 11 mos after losing our son and before him I lost one at 12wks and was devastated as well.
I agree with CarrieDawn If you have a person that you can trust and can confide in it would really help..I have one person and sometimes it doesnt feel like she isthere either!