This is definitely not your fault-- there are just so many things in either the baby or you that could have gone wrong. There is nothing you did or didn't do that caused this. There are so many problems, I know my list will not be nearly complete. I know a few problems in the mother can be-- autoimmune disorders, clotting disorders, certain viral infections to name a few. In the baby there can be structural problems with the organs that as the baby progresses cause fetal demise. It sucks to have a loss like this and I think not knowing why it happened makes it even more difficult.

I know how you feel. We found out about 6 weeks after my D&C that our baby was a girl also. We lost her at 10 weeks. They did not find any chromosomal abnormalities. I felt the exact same way as you when I got this news. Glad there wasn't a problem to worry about in the future, but annoyed that I'll never know what really happened. I did have to fight off feelings that I did something wrong to cause it. Take care of yourself! Hugs

I had the same situation, not once but twice. Both completely healthy girls and they have no explanation other than that I am defficent in folic acid.

Trust in knowing that it is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done. The only other testing that some docs will test for and they usually wait until someone has had three miscarraiges is the MTHFR disorder. It is a clotting disorder and causes you to be inable to absorb folic acid, I have half of the gene for it and I have heard it is pretty common I would ask your doc if they would like to test for that. I think a woman should always have all the options open to them.

This is gonna sound crazy, but I had the exact opposite situation and the same worrying. My baby girl was found to have Turner's Syndrome. So I understood the reason for the m/c, but now I worry about my old eggs (I'm 35)! Even though they said it had nothing to do with that, I still worry. I think we are all going to wonder about everything and deal with what-ifs the rest of our lives, no matter what our individual situation.

I understand how frustrating and terrible it is not to know why the miscarriage happened. I have lost two and no reason has ever been diagnosed. I think if "why it happened" could be explained, it might make it easier for some of us in some small way. Not knowing why, is so hard. We all deserve to know why this has happened. There are so many reasons that can cause miscarriage and very few of them are any thing that would be considerd "your fault", although I fully understand the tendency to blame oneself, because I do that too. But please know, it isn't your fault. Since you must have had karyotyping done in order to know that it was not a chromosomal abnormality, then that is the first step. Have you asked you doc what other testing they recommend for you? Some of the other reasons women miscarry are related to blood clotting disorders, immune problems, underlying infections, and anatomical reasons. And there are other reasons beyond what I have listed. Most docotrs seem to not want to do the testing however, and that can be frustrating. One of the books I have read recently that helped me understand some of the reasons behind miscarriage, it is called "Coming to Term, Uncovering the Truth about Miscarriage" by Jon Cohen. It explains some of the science in an easy to understand way. I recommend it.