Miscarriage Support Group

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Birthstone?

kDeezy
kDeezy
I've spent the last two weeks looking for a piece of jewelry to honor my babies. I've finally found a piece that I love - it's two entwined hearts with two birthstones in the middle. And now comes a dilemma I didn't consider - what the hell do I choose for the birthstones?

April? The month of my transfer, when they implanted?

May? The month I found out I was pregnant and that they weren't going to make it?

June? The month I found out for sure that both hearts had finally stopped and also had my D&C?

December? The month they would have been due, and also the month that they were conceived?

I'm torn between May and December. And I thought about doing one of each, but I want them to have the same stone because they lived and died together and it feels wrong to not represent that. They were (are?) twins, and twins share birthstones.

Help me out here. Has anyone done something similar? What did you choose and what was your rationale?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I haven't done this with both of my miscarriages, but I think it's an incredible idea and very poignant. I think December is a great choice- both the month conceived and the due date. Both hopeful, happy times. Not June, while it's important to remember I don't think memorializing such a traumatic time is healthy.
I think it's better to pick a month that you felt happiness and joy from these two babies. April would be great, but I like that December has two great milestones. Their "birth" and future birth, just my personal views though. I'm sure whatever month you choose will be perfect and meaningful.
RoxyD
RoxyD
I'm also thinking december as it was your conception and due date. It seems like it's more important to remember than any other dates. I got a star named in memory of my daughter Zoey. I think it's good to do something that will honor their memory and that feels positive.
I also think it's nice that you have 2 stones one for each of your twins.
I asked DH to get me something with Zoey's birthstone but since I did give birth I chose her birthday and not her due date stone. It was a hard coice since she also passed on that day but seemed more appropriate in her case.
HopefulinNYC
HopefulinNYC
I was having a similar dilemma and found the perfect piece. I just bought a bracelet with 3 birthstones: one for conception month, one for the month of my loss, and one for the due date month. I love it so much. The company I bought it from also has it as necklaces and a lot of other beautiful pieces to honor our angel babies. Here's the link if you want to check it out:

http://www.labelledame.com/miscarriagejewelry/forgetmenotgemstonebracelet
deleted_user
deleted_user
i personally got a tattoo in memory of my loss,
but my bestmate got a ring with a birth stone in it for her loss & its the birth stone of the month that the baby was removed from her body.. I see that as being the babys "birth" day.. Im sorry to hear about your loss & i hope what ever choice you make helps you remember something so great x