I went to dinner at DH's friends tonight and it was obvious to me that one of our friends is pregnant. (They live out of town, so I have not seen her in a while.) It pretty much hit me rather hard. This is her 3rd pregnancy, with no problems. (In 2003 I found out she was pregnant then too, right after my m/c that year). It seems so unfair that every time I have a m/c. she so easily gets pregnant. (She got pregnant the 1st try.) The worst part about tonight was that everyone there knew she was pregnant except me - including DH. He later said that he forgot to tell me - how could he have fprgotten something like that and let me walk in there tonight like that? I feel like I was somehow ambushed - even though I know that no one is doing this to upset me. And I keep trying and waiting, and it seems like my cycle and hormones will never be back to normal. Dh asked me on the way home why I was so crabby. (Gee, I wonder...) How can I learn to deal with this better than I am? I feel like I am rushing through the days and weeks, staring at OPKs and temp charts - obsessing at times over this - and the 2 kids I do have are growing up so fast - This whole m/c thing takes so much of my attention, and takes attention away from the children I should be focusing on. I am nearing the end of another cycle, am almost positive that AF is on her nasty way, and I so didn't need to be surprised with this tonight. Sorry for the long rambling post - as usual, this is where I come since no one else understands.
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