Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
I was talking to my dad on the phone a while ago after my daughter spilled her milk, which splattered everywhere in the kitchen. His "warning" comment to me was that "the big guy has already knocked on your door once" and I am "almost home free" (my kids are 6 and 4 - are they going to college tomorrow?) so do I really want to start all over again with diapers and risks (I just turned 38) etc. My parents have already said to me before "God has given you one warning - how many more do you need". I told my father that I thought that was a cruel and insensitive comment and that I don't believe that God punishes or warns like that. I also told him that if that was true, his prostate cancer 8 years ago was a warning, as was my mother's blood pressure spike and hospital stay a few days ago. I feel like these nasty comments shouldn't bother me, but even though I had a very calm response to him, I hung up the phone and started to cry. I don't ever even talk to my parents about wanting a baby (last pregnancy was a surprise). My miscarriage at 11.5 weeks in July showed no chromosomal abnormalities, so it wasn't necessarily age related. Even though I know what I believe, I guess I'm just scared - what if I'm not meant to have another baby? I want to be strong and move forward, and honor the memory of my baby girl - but when they say stuff like that - I feel like I go back and relive the whole thing again. Sorry for such a long post - I just need to vent, and I know that all of us here understand.
I'm almost 36 and don't have any children yet. I go to church, sing in the church choir, teach Sunday school, etc. My baby did have chromosomal abnormalities. Am I being punished? Was my miscarriage a warning from God? Should I just give up?
No! I had bad luck. You had bad luck as well. It's nothing you did or God did. I know you love your parents, and I'm sure they love you and are not trying to hurt you, but they are not the best source of support right now. I hope you have some friends to lean on or that your husband can comfort you.