I think that mothers feel an instant bond when they are carrying a baby, even if for a short time. You are not over reacting by grieving for your child. Come here anytime and talk about your baby. It will help to have a sympathetic ear listening. ((HUGS))

You are definitely not overreacting.My husband is hurting but he shows it in a different way.At first I was mad at him because he didnt seem sad or disappointed.But he was hurting also.He' not the type to talk about his feelings.I agree with nkelley,I think women just bond immediately with their babies no matter how long you carried it.

I hate that statement "natures way" or " god way" alot of men don't understand and probably never will. You are not overreacting you're dealing w/the m/c the best way you know how. Easier said than done but try not to let his words get to you. Use us to talk we're all here and all know what a pain men can be.

I know exactly how you feel. I never expected to have children. We have been together for ten years. Charlie did not want kids, and it came as a complete shock when I became pregnant. Even though I did not plan this pregnancy, I immediately bonded with my unborn child. I was devastated by the miscarriage. Men do not understand the emptiness we feel when our child is not longer growing inside. You need to grieve. You have suffered a great loss. Turn to friends and family for support and know that there are many here who know what you are feeling and are ready to listen.

You are not over reacting. I just had my D & C today to "complete" my miscarriage. I should have been almost ten weeks when my husband and I found out the babies heart was no longer beating. I share this with you to let you know I too grieve and feel that pain of loosing a baby. Reguardless off what your b/f says you have every right to grieve in your own way, as I am. We are now in the ranks of childless mothers. Those were our babies. You need to grieve, dont ever feel like you are wrong for that. I pity men that have no comprehention of a mothers love for her child. If need be seek counceling, cry, self medicate with bubble baths or work outs or if you feel the need talk to your doc about anti depressants. Everyone grieves differntly sweety and everyone needs differnt treatment to heal. Just know that you are not alone in this. Let me know if yoiu want to talk. I came here seeking people who have traveled this same path because I know no one in my life that it has happened to. However your b/f reacts, just know you are not alone. I love and grieve for my baby that is now with the angels and I know you do the same. Many hugs and thoughts. Let me know if you ever need to talk.

I can understand your frustration. Men are just different---they feel differently and show their feelings differently. One more reason to be on DS. also, it can help to talk w/ female friends and family.

Men react differently. My husband was devastaded by the loss of our baby but he seemed to accept it and move on quicker than me. I still cry sometimes and I know that he probably thinks that I should get over it but like nkelley wrote, we as mothers bond with the baby from the instant we know it's growing inside of us. You can't help feeling that bond. Eventhough men can be supportive when a m/c happens, they will never understand what a mother feels when she looses her baby. Also, have you thought that your boyfrined may be saying that he wasn't ready just as a way of soothing his pain?

I uderstand as well. I asked the same questions about my boyfriend. Even though he is supportive, and validates how I feel, I wondered why he wasn't greiving. I wondered why he didn't change the t.v. channel when a baby comes on like I do, or why a tear doesnt come to his eye to see someone pregnant. I came to this conclusion. Men are different. We don't want them to be but they are. Its not a bad thing. They are very visual and physical. If he had been able to feel, touch, and see the baby in you womb his reactions may be similiar. He is struggling with the same thing you are. He can't understand why you feel they way you do. Both of you need to except that we all react different to these things. This is why we are on this site. Because all of us women know what it feels like. We feel the same way.
Try not to shun your boyfriend, instead explain that some of those things are not what you need to hear right now. Specify the things you need to hear from him. Also, for him beleiving that it wasn't "meant to be" may be his way of accepting this loss.
We love you and are here!

I can relate,I felt a instant connection with my baby too, and my husband and i should be welcoming our baby this month and Everyday feels so long and I don't know what to do with myself somedays. But you have to take each day one at a time. My doctor told me to invest time into a activity that i love, to help me think about soemthing else. I know it is had to hear but it will get better with time! My husband hasn't really known what to say to me sometimes and he says whatever he thinks of and most of the time it hurts more than it helps. Thank goodness we can come here and listen to other peoples storys and advice. Hang in there!!