Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hi. Sorry if this is a little much for some. Trigger Warning: sexual assault.
I've had two miscarriages. One when I was 18 and the second one was when I was 22.
When I 18 I was sexually assaulted (I don't like the R word.) by guy who liked me but I didn't like him. I found out I was pregnant with his baby when I was 8 weeks along. When I was almost 11 weeks I went to tell him and he beat me until I miscarried.
After the first miscarriage I stayed away from men, then 4 years passed and I thought if I just slept around I would feel better. Then I got pregnant again and found out at 6 weeks. I thought that since I didn't have anyone to tell I would be able to keep the baby and give it a happy life. At 7 weeks I miscarried again.
I have always wanted children and when I became pregnant with both I knew there was no way I was going to abort or give them away. However, I don't feel as though I should be able to grieve like most mothers. I got pregnant by accident twice, one of which was pure carelessness. I almost feel as though I needed to be happy. Because I didn't have to carry a baby to term and them knowing how they came in the world.
With that being said, is it ok for me to feel sad about them? Because I feel absolutely terrible, but I also don't want to make the women who have lost babies trying feel hatred towards me because I wasn't trying. That I shouldn't feel upset because they weren't planned. If anyone has any input, please help.