Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hi everyone. I am happy I found this group and I hope everyone who reads this is doing well today and feeling strong. I haven't written about this yet, but in the spring I met who I thought was a soulmate... we both wanted to take things slow but we fell in love quickly and we having a great time. About 4 months in, we accidentaly got pregnant and we weren't sure what we wanted to do. Niether of us felt ready for a baby as we had both recently gotten out of bad relationships. I had a low-lying infection at the time and didn't know it. I was having dreams about the baby, pregnancy, and motherhood, and had all of the early pregnancy symptoms. It was a weird time - exciting and confusing all at once. I'd had surgery on my uterus previously and didn't know if I would ever be able to get pregnant and my boyfriend was a survivor of cancer who also didn't know if he could have children so this was unlikely and kind of exciting for that reason - again, even though neither of us felt ready. After about a month since we had unprotected sex I woke up cramping and nauseus and passing clots of blood and tissue (sorry if that's graphic.) I was really scared. My boyfriend took me to the ER and they said it seemed like implantation had failed because of the underlying infection and inflammation and my body was removing the pregnancy. It felt like a blessing in disguise at the time because neither of us felt ready for kids so we basically acted like it never happened. But after that everything started to crumble. That weekend, my boyfriend cancelled plans with me for the first time. Within a week he decided to take a trip to visit some friends. I didn't realize how much the event would hit me. I felt so sad and worthless that my body couldn't support this pregnancy. I was questioning my role and my capabilities as a woman - has anyone else struggled with that? I felt empty and questioning what I wanted for the future. We eventually started fighting - he started falling into depression and not returning my calls and we broke up about a week ago. I have told very few people about the miscarriage and I feel so alone. I didn't expect to be greiving the loss of my potential pregnancy because it was so early on and because we weren't 'trying' to get pregnant. My friends think I'm overreacting ("You were barely even pregnant") and I don't feel like I can tell my family. I'm truly mourning and I feel a pain and emptiness in my stomach. I am having a hard time eating, sleeping and focusing at work. I am scared I'll never have a family. I don't know how to get through this alone.
I know what its like to lose a baby because your body simply isnt ready for it.. I had two miscarriages back to back this year, one in june and other in october. simply because my body still hasnt recovered from the first one.
first thing id say is be patient with yourself. your body needs to heal and so does your mind. losing your loved one as well can make things even more traumatic..
best thing i can suggest is contacting a therapist, someone qualified to help you through this, second talk to your doctor about options. last week i went into the doctor and asked him how long i should wait before i could try for another baby and he suggested 6 months minimum but wait a year to 18 months to ensure my body had recovered.
second theres always other options... theres adoption :) but dont give up hope on having your own if you believe the path thats set out for you.
Take care of yourself, take a day off here and there as a mental breather, get away from the friends who are telling you not to grieve..
spoil yourself a little bit, maybe get some face masks (if youre breaking out) from miscarriage. if your hairs falling out like mine did get some hair masks and take care of it.
plain and simple just take the emotional time that you need. everyone on here has been through this.. we are all here to help you through some emotions.
if you ever need to talk my inbox is open <3
Talking to people about it definitely helped me know that a lot of other people have been going through the same thing...
The thing that took the biggest hit was my self confidence. I started breaking out literally all over my body. Massive painful pimples covering my chest and back and face and over half my hair fell out and died so i cut like 8 inches of it off. my stomach looked bloated and i didnt even let anyone touch me because i felt so ugly. I took a much needed break from that to just work on myself... started going to the gym lots, researching hormone balancers so that i wouldnt break out, drank tea, got up earlier and went to bed early.
I keep a positivity journal where i put a minimum of 3 things im thankful for in a day and over time it changed my mind set.