Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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mrschizzy 07/08/2013

So, on June 28th I was due with angel #1 that I lost in December. I just experienced my 2nd miscarriage 3 weeks ago. So it has been hard for me to see pregnant women and those with newborns/young babies. I usually try to avoid them or look away so that I don't have to deal with the flood of anxiety that takes over whenever I do. But yesterday, I was at a local gas station/convenience store and I was waiting for my drink to be done. I saw a woman holding a baby that looked to be about 2-3 months old. I looked away and tried not to notice her. When I got my drink and turned around, she was right there with the baby and I started walking out the door pretending I didn't see her. When I got to the door, something told me to turn around and go talk to her, so I did. I walked up to her and told her what a precious baby boy she had and asked how old he was. She said 11 weeks (so a little older than I thought). I told her that she was truly blessed with that precious baby, she thanked me and I walked away. it was extremely hard for me to do that. But maybe it's first step towards healing?

deleted_user 07/08/2013

WOW! It takes a very strong person to do what you did! You should be very proud of yourself and yes, I absolutely believe that was a great first step in your healing!

It's taken me a long time to be able to be around women who are pregnant (and there are 2 ladies at my job, who are both due the same week I would have been) and still be ok. It's not easy!! But you did it!!

You should be proud of yourself :)

deleted_user 07/08/2013

I agree...you should be SO very proud of yourself. At this point, I can't imagine ever being that brave. I can only imagine how you felt doing that. Hugs!

mrschizzy 07/08/2013

Thanks you ladies. I really appreciate that! A friend I met through a local support group lost her baby at 18 weeks. She said she, too, used to avoid pregnant women and babies like the plague, but she said it was just too hard to avoid them, so she began to take the attitude that she doesn't know what they have been through to get the baby that they have and that maybe they, too, had a hard time and had been through previous loss. It is easier said than done, but it is something I try to remind myself of. Maybe that's why I felt led to go speak to that woman. I didn't share anything about my story with her, but perhaps if I had, she would have understood.

My biggest obstacle right now is accepting my nephew's baby...who is to be born any day now. He and his girlfriend aren't married and only dated 6 months before she became pregnant. It is still so very hurtful to me and I am so angry and filled with anxiety over it. I guess it is worse with that situation because it is so close to me (not geographically, but just family-wise). The problem is, it has caused a big strain on the relationship between my sister and I. That has made all of this hurt worse. So if I could somehow come to accept my nephew's baby the way I did this woman's baby, then I think I will be "healed". Not totally over it...because I don't think that ever happens...but "healed" nonetheless. Such a process isn't it?? It's so tiring some days...

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