Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hi, I'm new here. My husband and I had a miscarriage almost 5 months ago now. We would have been due in September, around our anniversary. It's been so sad for me! This was our first time trying to get pregnant, and it all was so beautiful. I loved every minute of being pregnant, until it ended.
We want to try again, but I am scared. I'm only 31, but I already feel pressured by time. I had really hoped we would be pregnant again by September so it wouldn't be so hard to get through that month, but now it's already June and there's no baby! I'm really terrified that there's something wrong with me. I don't have any reason to believe that, exactly, but everytime I read about pregnancy or what I can do to prepare, I just get upset and angry. It's been hard eating, and I've lost a bunch of weight. I know I should be proactive and take care of myself and all that, but I'm having trouble wanting to do that. As far as I know I don't have fertility problems, but I'm just so scared I might find out that I do. I'm also scared that if I get pregnant again I won't be able to enjoy it or be happy about it because of the baby we lost.
How do I get past this? I don't want to let go of my first child, but I also don't want to wait forever, or have a new pregnancy overshadowed by my loss.
We want to try again, but I am scared. I'm only 31, but I already feel pressured by time. I had really hoped we would be pregnant again by September so it wouldn't be so hard to get through that month, but now it's already June and there's no baby! I'm really terrified that there's something wrong with me. I don't have any reason to believe that, exactly, but everytime I read about pregnancy or what I can do to prepare, I just get upset and angry. It's been hard eating, and I've lost a bunch of weight. I know I should be proactive and take care of myself and all that, but I'm having trouble wanting to do that. As far as I know I don't have fertility problems, but I'm just so scared I might find out that I do. I'm also scared that if I get pregnant again I won't be able to enjoy it or be happy about it because of the baby we lost.
How do I get past this? I don't want to let go of my first child, but I also don't want to wait forever, or have a new pregnancy overshadowed by my loss.
It's natural that you are worried there is something wrong with you after your experience, but chances are, everything is fine but something just didn't go right with it's make up or the implantation. And it wouldn't be because of anything you have done. Did it take you very long to become pregnant? If not, then there is no reason to believe it won't happen again in the future, however I know it gets harder to believe that as the months tic by.
I already have one little boy who is nearly 3. It took over a year to conceive our next one (I'm 35) and I was overjoyed when I was pregnant with #2 and due 2 days before my birthday. I wasn't even worried when I started spotting but wanted a scan just in case. I was even excited about meeting my baby. But as soon as I saw the baby on the screen I couldn't see the heartbeat and soon the dr confirmed it. After dealing with that about 6 friends have become pregnant and it's so hard watching their bellies grow knowing I am supposed to be the same way.
I also thought I would be pregnant when my due date came along and as the months are ticking by I'm realizing I might not be and am trying to deal with that. We are having a holiday around the date which might help distract me a bit but will still be hard. And it's a shame that the complete joy of being pregnant again will be overshadowed by fear of it happening again.
You never have to let go of your first child, your baby will forever be in your heart. But it's ok to look to the future and look forward to having another baby one day, even if it is scary. Hopefully in concentrating on the future you will soon start to feel better. I've found this website to be truly helpful, as there is nothing like people who understand how you feel. xx