Losing a baby for the first time is something that no one expects to happen. When you take your home pregnancy test and it comes out positive it changes you right at that moment. Sometimes in life when unexpected things happen and your plans go off course it can change your relationship. What you need to realize is that people deal with things differently and since you lost your baby only a month ago, your both probably feeling different things still. I lost my 2nd baby at the end of january and it still hurts SO much for me and my husband but we have good days and bad days. It helps to talk about it.
My advice would be to give it a little more time. He is probably dealing with everything in his own way. I know you need support too but maybe try and communicate that with him in a non-attacking way. Plan a mini vacation for the 2 of you and just try and relax. Losing a baby changes your life so it will take some time to get back on course. Good luck!

"We aren't who we used to be anymore." No statement has ever felt truer to me. There are moments where I catch a glimpse of the old me, but like you, I feel utterly changed by these losses.

I'm so sorry things have gotten harder between you and your boyfriend. Grief can be a destructive, isolating force in our lives even when there's love there. I know you must be so tired and feel so alone, as if this tragedy is yours and yours alone.

If I can intrude a little further into your life, how are you and your boyfriend communicating now? Have you or do you talk about the loss? Has your boyfriend expressed his grief, sadness or anger about the loss? Is your boyfriend there for you in other ways, but unable to be there when you're talking about or grieving over the loss?

I think it's important to figure out if his behavior is the result of his own trauma and grief or if he's just checking out all together. If his behavior, as bad as it may feel, is the result of grief and a loss on how to help you, then I think ... and I hate to say this knowing how much you are hurting right now ... but you may be the key to helping him. It may be as simple as a conversation where you just talk and let him listen and think. It may be a letter, song, or poem expressing your grief and desire for him to be open with you. Or it may be something, like aimee14 suggests, that steps away from the grief (if possible) to be with each other without the need to talk about it, but just be with one another again.

I hear your love him for him through your post and I have faith through your words that your boyfriend truly loves you, but is struggling in a way that's destroying your relationship because you have no idea who he is or what he's doing. But I believe you are both still you, even if you have changed. Working through this together is not an easy thing. It really takes incredible work and sometimes some ugly moments. But it also requires patience and forgiveness. We can act very badly in our moments of stress and grief.

I have a feeling he needs your strength. And I have faith you have it in you to do just that.

Hold on to your love for him. Let that guide you.

Thank you Aimee and Juleshu for your comments. I must sadly report that yes I have tried talking but he just shuts down and lately for the past 3 or 4 days I have found he has been talking to another girl. I ddn't want to believe it but I have been cheated on before you see and I know what signs to look for and about a couple days ago I realized he was on his phone WAY more than normal so I saw an oppurtunity to check his phone and I did and it was some girl he has never talked about before so I know it's someone new....I can't type anymore about it right now i'm so pissed and feel like a complete idiot.

I'm so sorry. I don't know what he's doing or if he's cheating. I can only comment from your side ... either you both need help professionally to rebuild your trust and support, or you need to take care of yourself and get out of what is becoming a destructive relationship. I know you've lost so much already, but you and your health are more important.

I pray he's not cheating, but I believe you know your relationship better than anyone. Please take care of yourself.