My fiance is a meth addict. I have lived my life as a devout Catholic, surrounded by healthy minded people. When I found out (the hard way) about my fiance's addiction, I was floored. I thought, "how could I not realize it was drugs?"
We were in love, engaged, and devoted to each other. I knew he had a colorful past but I had no idea drugs were the cause of that colorful past. He lied from the moment I met him. When I was first introduced to his family and friends, they were strangely quiet about certain things. They were overjoyed he met someone like me. Not one of them told me he was an addict. They really need to come with a warning sign because this is not something you want to surprise you in life like it did me.
I found out the hard way. He was staying up all night and I thought he had insomnia. He started accusing me (at 2am) of wanting other men. He was all over my FB, making a relationship up in his head with any male I had as a friend. It was insanity. I thought he had deep issues of jealousy. One night things got really bad and found his hand on my throat. It took me hours to get him out of my house. He was out of his mind. I was horrified. He finally left and I watched a broken man walking down the street. I was relieved he left and totally heart broken to see him like that.
That was only the beginning. I told him he was not welcome in my home until he got some serious help. He made weak attempts to get help. I think it was for show. He started injecting Meth and went down a rabbit hole of hell. He was an absolute nightmare. It was devastating. His family finally started telling me of his past use. He had been a drug addict addicted to Meth for 20 years!!!! How he managed to keep his looks, his teeth, I don't know. But he spiraled bad.
He lost his job, the place he was living, his car...everything. He almost lost his life but that wasn't enough to keep him off that poison. He made up a story (and believed it) that I kicked him out and I was so unfair blah blah. He seeks out people to feel sorry for him. Then he started making a family of meth heads. They were now his best friends and I was the enemy. I found this out by calling numbers from the phone bill. Some of them were female and that sent me to a whole different place. Now he's cheating?? There was no evidence that anything other than drug talk (as if that's any better) went on, but that in itself is cheating.
I have been broken hearted for over a year now. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being angry, sad, worried, frustrated, you name the emotion and I've felt it. This drug has completely changed the man I loved. He's gone and I don't know if he'll be back. I'm exasperated from trying to help him, support him, and love him. Nothing works and I tried it all. One thing I didn't do was let him come back here to live. I said, "rehab or nothing". He was furious because he thinks he can get clean on his own. Hee can't! Not with a drug like Meth. They need professional help. They need rehab and support after rehab.
We've tried rehab 5 times. He walked out twice and didn't show up for the others. Absolutely frustrating. It's like dealing with a stubborn child.
I can tell all the horror stories but what I want to say is something that will help those who are suffering from loving a meth addict. It is truly evil and it IS Satan's drug. I believe demons wait for weak individuals to take drugs so it's easier to enter their soul. I have seen the face of the devil in my fiance. Some of you may not believe this and you may think I'm off my rocker. I am a true believer in demons (literally) being a part of this.
I'm a spiritual person and I tried the Naranon meetings but they were depressing. I'm not knocking then and they might be what you need, but for the soul I am, I needed something deeper. I began to focus my meditation and prayers on healing. I saged and blessed my house to get rid of the evil he brought in. I took a spiritual stand against what was in him. The name calling and horrid behavior. I fought it like someone who would fight Satan. With God. I called upon Christ and asked for protection.
Best advice I can give is let them go. Let them fall on their face. Don't feed them or give them a place to shower. Don't let them rope you into an argument. I know it is hard to walk away from a loved one but you have to in order to save you and them. Support them by praying and let God handle his child. We cannot interfere. Let them know you are there once they get help but you can no longer allow this insanity. I know it's hard and you have to do it when you're ready. Be ready sooner than later. You are housing a demon, not your loved one.
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