I am definatly new here. I have never admitted to anyone or even myself that I have a problem. I am addicted to meth. I will start from the beginning. I never did drugs growing up. It wasnt until I turned 40 and the BF i had then was into drugs, that i expieremented with drugs. I was influenced by my BF and did some stupid things. All within one years time i tried snorting perks, to smoking crack to shooting heroin, to smoking meth to smoking bath salts. It was crazy i never seemed to get addicted to any of this then and didnt care if it was around or not and just stop using whenever i wanted. I ended up losing everything ( my job, house, custody of my kids) by supporting my BF'S bad habit, so eager to keep him happy. We lived homeless in my vehicle for 1 month before getting a job then one day he deciced we were going to go to Flordia and start over, away from this mess. Well i was there 2 months and cirumstances brought me back home! i stayed clean got a good job and a home and custody back. He stayed in Flordia making a life for himself there. Moving forward I met my best friend at work and well meth was in the picture. I was only doing it occasionally then. Still went to work and didnt need it all the time. Nov 2015 is when i met my current husband.I stopped using completly then. We married May 2016--its an abusive marraige and so i have resorted back to meth occasionally to escape the abuse. But now its the worst its ever been. My husband is in jail for domestic violence and i find myself dong meth every day all day long. i am always wanting to have it--not like before where i didnt care if i did or not. I come home on my lunch break just to get high! my job does random drug testing and im afraid my name is going to be called soon--ill lose my job!! im in a custody "battle" right now and have court in Oct. if i dont stop this im going to lose everything again!!! IDK how to stop!! My family knows nothing the only person who knows anything is my best friend--who is an addict herself!!! Please HELP how do i stop this cycle???
I used meth for the past 3 or 4 years, never missed work, had almost no social relations, but everything was "ok", then I quited for three months, felt great, but this girl came back to my life, and started doing it again, only on weekends, I started missing work now, today will be my third night with no sleep and I work in 5 hrs, I started with mild mild alucinatons, paranoia, it's pretty...
man I'm here for a concert with family and I feel like shit. All I want to do is cry and hide. I'm tired of feeling like shit and so lost. I wish I had a knife to cut can't take it.