I'm really torn and could use some guidance. I feel like I constantly have to watch over him and the wedding date of a close family member is coming up. I had already said I would be attending a while back. Unfortunately, it would require me to go out of state for 5 days. My husband has taken up shooting meth and will hide and lie about it to no limit. He won't even SAY that he's not going to get "fucked up" if I go. We both know it's number one on his agenda. My conscience is against me leaving. Yes, I know that more importantly he needs professional help. But the question is whether I should let his use control my life to where I cannot let him out my sight and will even give up on attending something very important to me. Some of my family has also become aware of his drug use and they are worried about me and upset about the damage it has caused me. I've already put a tremendous amount of stress on myself and given up my life to dedicate my time to playing "detective" and constantly busting him. Perhaps I need to re-evaluate my approach with combating his usage. Talking to him about it and the damage it is doing hasn't worked. During his few day crashes where he's sober it seems he genuinely wants to stop, but then continues the vicious cycle. He has blown veins, gotten infections, and lost clients as well as many job opportunities. He also wrecked both our cars. Our life is basically going down the tubes. His daughter is living with his mother who is telling her that he's an incurable drug addict and that her father is basically fubar. It took me a while to catch him and get him to admit to it. Even now he will even lie with the needle in his hand! There is NO admittance of responsibility or risk when he is using. He will also come up with any excuse to try to justify it. For example; I took a zoloft and ritalin yesterday, both of which are prescribed to me. He then goes to get his dope and tells me, "if you're going to do your drugs, I'm going to do mine." backing it up with, "all the people I know who have died from drugs died off 'scripts, not real drugs" His usage is accompanied with violence when I try to intervene, which has broken two phones, a broom over my head, doors that I've locked, and other various items. I've gone off the original question and into telling the story of my situation, but it felt good to get off my chest and I could really use the guidance. Thank you in advance for your support and advice.
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