Kelly- I'm so sorry for your loss of your son. I have 2 sons, 27 and 25. I can't imagine the pain you feel on a daily basis from losing him. :-( All I can think of is maybe time will make each day easier.
I too am going bonkers from this damn menopause. The hardest part, beside the constant irritating flashes, is not knowing how long it will last or what other symptom will appear.
I am constantly apologizing to my family and friends for my irritability/bitchiness.
I don't know how long I'll be welcome to stay where I'm living. A friend is letting me stay in his spare room until I can care for myself in some way.
Your post brought tears to my eyes.
I've just started taking Women's One a day vitamins with the lavender label, for menopausal women. I'm hoping there will be some relief. I can't take the regular hormonal therapies because I'm fighting breast cancer.
Hang in there Honey! My Dad used to say, "When you're feeling like whale poop at the bottom of the ocean, the only direction you can travel is up".

I am sorry for your loss. Going through menopause magnifies our emotions as well. You sound like you are in the thick of menopause. You can try otc remedies. They help some, others they dont work for them. You just have to try a few and see. For me personally I didnt take anything until my mood swings got out of control and I kept throwing off the covers at night and my sleep wasnt good. I tried the commercially available hormones. I went to my OBGYN who tested my FSH level and said I was post menopausal and I tried Prempro. He started me out on a small dose to see if it would help and then he tweaked the dose up from there. It did in fact relieve my symptoms but I also had bloating, some nausea, headaches, and bleeding and generally felt kind of yucky on it. I got off of Prempro, went to a doctor who prescribes Bio-identical hormones which are more like what your body makes, unlike Prempro and Premarin that are made from a pregnant mares urine (thus the name
Pre-mar-in). It involves taking a saliva test to see what your estrogen levels are (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and cortisols). Then your dose is tailored for your specific levels. Your hormones will be made for you by a compounding pharmacist who works with your doctor to tweak your dose. I am taking the saliva test in a month (due to saving for the cost) and in the meantime my pharmacist put me on a dose of 1mg estrogen to 50 mg progesterone as a starting dose. I believe that if you arent having quality of life and are suffering then you have to weigh out if you want your remaining years to be of quality or of just getting through it. For me, I chose quality of life. I encourage you to take a step towards hormones because your symptoms sound debilitating for you. Best Wishes! Judy