Menopause Support Group
Menopause is the physiological cessation of menstrual cycles associated with advancing age. It normally occurs in women between the ages of 45 and 55, when the body begins to slow and stop the production of eggs, estrogen and progesterone production decreases, and menstruation diminishes, eventually stopping altogether.
Hello,
I am new to the group.
A little about myself: I am 54 going on 55 years old and look very young for my age (must be good genes). I am divorced from a 15 year marriage in 2009; jumped right back into a relationship with my previous love and soul mate (a 30+ year history). I lost him to mysterious circumstances in 2012. I've been a long time coming out of the grief. I finally allowed a nice man into my life, he's much younger, 42 years old, and a friend of my brother's. At this point, my brother is no longer talking to me (claims my new man is too young for me and that I stole him from him (meaning my brother). It was my brother who introduced us after his friend kept pressuring him. This guy came after me! Regardless, this adds to my stress level.
Anyway, I had sex with my new man. There is definitely a difference between a 42 year old and a 65 year old (my late Fiance). Of course, my late Fiance, with all the history and such, knew what to do in bed with me. This guy just rolls over on me, and although trying to be gentle, sex hurt very bad and did nothing for me, because vaginal sex does not cause me to orgasm. I even tried doing some oral to him to give him an "idea," of this is what I need to get me started and to orgasm. I don't know if he just doesn't like to do oral and I was too shy to ask. I am a very clean person as a side note.
But getting to the brunt of the problem. I had to end up going to my gynecologist. Since, I hadn't had sex for over 2 1/2 years, my vagina is out of shape and I have severe vaginal dryness. Needless to say, I was in severe pain. It was like having run burn up there. I haven't had sex since, and I am still somewhat sore, especially at the opening.
Doctor put me on Osphena and has given me samples. Surprise! My insurance will not cover it and I can't even afford it with the saving card from the manufacturer.
Doctor does not want to put me on Hormone therapy as yet. I still have my uterus and would have to take the Estrogen/Progesterone therapy.
I don't know what to do. I really like this guy, but he's 42, and I am quite certain a platonic relationship isn't what he had in mind. He is very patient and aware of my problem, but I do not know where to go from here.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to proceed?
I am new to the group.
A little about myself: I am 54 going on 55 years old and look very young for my age (must be good genes). I am divorced from a 15 year marriage in 2009; jumped right back into a relationship with my previous love and soul mate (a 30+ year history). I lost him to mysterious circumstances in 2012. I've been a long time coming out of the grief. I finally allowed a nice man into my life, he's much younger, 42 years old, and a friend of my brother's. At this point, my brother is no longer talking to me (claims my new man is too young for me and that I stole him from him (meaning my brother). It was my brother who introduced us after his friend kept pressuring him. This guy came after me! Regardless, this adds to my stress level.
Anyway, I had sex with my new man. There is definitely a difference between a 42 year old and a 65 year old (my late Fiance). Of course, my late Fiance, with all the history and such, knew what to do in bed with me. This guy just rolls over on me, and although trying to be gentle, sex hurt very bad and did nothing for me, because vaginal sex does not cause me to orgasm. I even tried doing some oral to him to give him an "idea," of this is what I need to get me started and to orgasm. I don't know if he just doesn't like to do oral and I was too shy to ask. I am a very clean person as a side note.
But getting to the brunt of the problem. I had to end up going to my gynecologist. Since, I hadn't had sex for over 2 1/2 years, my vagina is out of shape and I have severe vaginal dryness. Needless to say, I was in severe pain. It was like having run burn up there. I haven't had sex since, and I am still somewhat sore, especially at the opening.
Doctor put me on Osphena and has given me samples. Surprise! My insurance will not cover it and I can't even afford it with the saving card from the manufacturer.
Doctor does not want to put me on Hormone therapy as yet. I still have my uterus and would have to take the Estrogen/Progesterone therapy.
I don't know what to do. I really like this guy, but he's 42, and I am quite certain a platonic relationship isn't what he had in mind. He is very patient and aware of my problem, but I do not know where to go from here.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to proceed?
I think if I were you'd have an honest discussion with this guy who seems to really care for you. If he's mature and cares, he'll understand that he has to put more work in on the front end to enjoy the big bang!
Best wishes for a satisfying experience.
Sex has become very painful for me too. It feels like one giant paper cut. My ob/gyn started me on an Estring which isn't cheap either. It's a ring that's inserted into my hoo-hoo and releases a small amount of estrogen. It's good for 3 months and works about to be about $100 a month. (!!!!) It's not a silver bullet by any stretch but it does help especially when combined with KY Jelly.
Having painful sex tends to make one not be in the mood a lot.... plus my sex drive had kind of curled and died a few years ago anyway. What I found was the less I had sex, the more painful it was. So, I make a point of having sex with my husband once a week, whether I'm in the mood or not. Usually, I'm not but it makes my husband happy and that's a good thing.
Let us know how it goes!!
Hopefully I will find a nice man who is caring of my needs.
Don't use with condoms or sex toys made of rubber though, those have to use water based.
Do some Googling on it. Here's one person's account on the search I just did:
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1qw0fp/coconut_oil_as_lube_i_have_seen_the_light/