Menopause Support Group

Menopause is the physiological cessation of menstrual cycles associated with advancing age. It normally occurs in women between the ages of 45 and 55, when the body begins to slow and stop the production of eggs, estrogen and progesterone production decreases, and menstruation diminishes, eventually stopping altogether.

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/ Menopause Support Group

Is It Healthy To Just Let the Tears Flow?

BouncyHouse
BouncyHouse

Hey all, I'm brand new here, and I needed to reach out. I am convinced that I'm peri-menopausal because I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel sad all the time, everything sets me off (very very oversensitive - I usually have a much thicker skin, even if I'm just being teased!), I'd be tearful all throughout the day if I didn't force myself to stop so I could function around other people. The worst part is that I'm in a situation in life where I have had to rely mostly on myself for a lot of things, including emotional support, and until now, I have been content to accomplish the things I need to on my own, but now?....I feel lonely all the time, and wish I had someone who might understand. Most of my family is sort of that optimistic avoidant type who just seems to be able to wish everything bad away by grinning at it and refusing to acknowledge it. I just can't deal with that right now, because it doesn't work for me. All I'd really like is to meet some other ladies going through this, so that we might be able to lean on each other through the worst days. I'm 43 now.


What do you do when you're on a crying jag? Do you feel it's healthier to just let the tears flow for as long as they need to? Even if it's for several minutes at a time? Or on and off all day long (if you work alone, for instance, and can allow for it)? Is there a bottom to this pit? A few nights ago I just cried and cried before bedtime while playing, of all things, a silly phone game which had music that sort of rubbed me the wrong way and made me sad!!! Even though it congested the crap out of me, I got it all cleared up before bedtime, and ended up having a much better day yesterday. Today, though....I'm just crying seemingly for no reason. Oh no wait - here's the reason - again, dumbest thing ever, and on normal days it wouldn't even bother me - a troll comment on a post I made somewhere on social media...of course by some random person I don't know from Adam. THAT....set me off. Seriously. What?? I mean I really do feel like I'm losing my sanity, here!


Anyway, I have seen some of the other posts here, and I will read through and try to help where I can, too! Seems like a very friendly group, and I hope I can get to know some of you! Thanks so much for any...well...commiseration, maybe? It really does help not to feel so alone! Makes all the difference to me, actually. 

cedarbrooke
cedarbrooke
You're not alone. I've had a very bad year & to top it all off, dealing with menopause. I've had to cut out salt, sugar. Soon as I indulge in one of them I feel like I'm on fire. Exercise helps too. Try to walk everyday. I read positive affirmations daily. Hugs! Brooke
BouncyHouse
BouncyHouse
Ugh, Brooke, that would drive me completely nuts. I try to use regular exercise to hopefully stave off the need for anything more extreme like cutting things out entirely, and hope that will work if things get worse. Positive affirmations sound good - where do you find yours to read? I hope you're well today, and hugs back to you! :)
bandgeek4life
bandgeek4life
Hi there, just joined this group today, and this post sounds like it could have been written by me. Most of my friends are guys and I have 2 brothers so needless to say NOBODY really relates to what I'm going through. ;) I give myself "time outs" when I can, whether it's to hide in the bathroom til it passes or to take a short walk, deep breaths, and re center myself.

By the way I am 48 and still getting regular cycles. Just the emotions have become completely unpredictable. I feel insane because I KNOW they're irrational, yet I can't control them.

I say let it all out when you can, and good luck. Nice to know we're all in this together, eh?
BouncyHouse
BouncyHouse
Hi bandgeek! I'm so so sorry I didn't get back to your before now! Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply!!! I had such a hectic time after posting this, I couldn't manage to sit down and focus on replying until just now. We just got through a typhoon and its aftermath, among the general anxiety and other crap that comes with this perimenopause stuff, and it's just a mess.

Yeah, exercise is good, isn't it?? Keep up with that, for sure. I'm trying to, too. I have to convince myself it's working before I lose my mind completely. Yep - I'm surrounded by guys, too, and try not to bother them with it. Definitely nice to find fellow sisters going through this, even if it is near unbearable sometimes! Have you been feeling any better over the last week?
Sckhook
Sckhook
I hear you so clearly! You really are not alone, I wish I could find other women in my community that are struggling with all what you are talking about. I find I just don't want to see people right now because I am getting alot of you just need to do something you love or get out more... that is just not it, it's real the imbalances and what it does to our person... I am believing with seeing a naturopath a couple of days ago I will start to feel like myself once again, once things start to kick in... Take care and be gentle with yourself
magpie73
magpie73
Feeling exactly the same way.....Just joined today for exactly this kind of support and just the knowledge that there are others out there like me. I have always been very even tempered and not easily bothered by things and all of a sudden I'm weeping for no reason and very easily agitated and annoyed. My husband is very supportive and understanding, which I am grateful for, but makes me beat myself up even more for, because I know he deserves better. So I revolve between weeping, criticizing myself for my (stupidity, ugliness, bad temper, insert current problem here) snapping at my family and/or co-workers and the occassional hour/day where I'm almost manically happy. Not sure which therapies will work for me as I am on epilepsy medicine as well for partial seizures.....
groundedinstrength
groundedinstrength
I feel the same. I’m 47 w/depression and my husband is the avoidant type. What’s hard for me is that he’s suppose to be my rock when I can’t be, but I feel like I’m having to beg for his support. Which in turn pisses me off and makes me feel more self conscious about how I’m feeling.

I joined the gym 3 weeks ago and I’ve only been 3 times. It’s hard to get motivated to do anything...so I don’t have any advice or answers, just to let you know I’m feeling lonely and sometimes hopeless too.
Gigglefart
Gigglefart
Hi I certainly do as it releases so much stress and can ease symptoms. I say go for it. Hope things start improving for you soon.☺
3petsandme
3petsandme
Hi Ladies. I have been without a period now for 2 years. I am 53, Funny story, I went to my gynecologist 2 years ago and at the time I was having regular periods. We got to talking about menopause, I cheekily said, "well im not going to have menopause" then boom, that was the last month I had a period. Anyhow, the first summer was annoying, mostly at night watching tv, I would break out in a sweat. I would wake about 5am abit sweaty but not over the top. Winter was better overall. I am very fit, and I train hard with weights.. I swear, that has been my godsend. I have not suffered with extreme flushes, or moodswings. I keep expecting things to turn for the worst and im not going to say that this is it. But for now, im very grateful, so ladies, get fit, push some weights. That will make your body think it is younger than it actually is. It will keep your metabolism firing like a young person. My skin has deteriorated a little. Much more cellulite than before, but still nothing alarming. I would rather not take HRT if possible, so for now I will put up with the flushes. I sleep pretty well, the odd night I have trouble getting to sleep. Good luck.
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