I am dealing with same thing, everybody seems to blow me off , even the Drs

Mylifeissmess... I'm so sorry to hear that, I too am struggling. Your story is similar to mine. We have to hang on... I be tried antidepressants. On another now for the past 10 days... bio identical hormones didn't seem to help.
Let's just pray, Lord help get us through this season in life...
Amen..

There is help. I had the same thing happen, but I went to a Naturopathic Doctor (ND) who prescribed a natural Estrogen Compound and also gave me a natural Progesterone cream that started making me feel better literally in about 15 minutes. It's all hormonal, so don't let them prescribe you anti-depressants because they really don't work for hormonal imbalances. Also, I had a sluggish thyroid that can also cause depression, so I take a natural supplement for that too. MD's don't always know what to do with pre-menopause women. A good ND that is experienced in hormone therapy will know how to help you.

You can order the natural progesterone cream at iherb.com, (Now Foods, Natural Progesterone, Liposomal Skin Cream, Calming Lavender, 3 oz.) I use one pump on my arms before bedtime and it also helps me sleep.
As the years go by (I am 53) I have to adjust the supplements as my body changes. I still have irregular periods... I will be glad when this is over, but try the cream as it really helps.

Mylifeissamess, you are definitely not alone. I've been crying for the last two days. I don't even recognize myself anymore because I always feel sad and tired. I think I do a good job hiding my sadness. I tried to bring the subject up to a couple of friends this past week that are my age, but they cheerfully said they don't get sad or angry and only have hot flashes. I felt bad for bringing up the subject because they couldn't relate and I ended up feeling worst. I've taken anti depressants three years ago, but I did not like the side effects or how hard it was coming off of them. I've tried the lowest does hormone, but it caused a large amount of weight gain in just a few weeks then I felt even worst. I'm tired of feeling sad, lonely, confused, demotivated. I don't even know who I am anymore. Long story short. You definitely are not alone in how you feel.

I feel the same way and this has only started to shall I say affect my life in the past few days. The other night I don't even know how to explain what happened I felt like I had no soul, I have my first grandchild who is normally the joy of my life yet I felt nothing. I suppose this is normal but I don't think mentally I can handle this ,I actually considered ending it all. I also don't understand why drs could give a rats ass. I am hoping to maybe find some support here to help me through this

I understand how you feel, the no soul part, I have not heard it put that way until now but that so describes it, like I am missing from myself. I feel so disconnected, depressed tonight, just like everything is so long and there is no peace. Just started HRT and it feels calmer but still strange, it's all strange. So detached and like nothing matters. The only thing that makes me laugh is Big Bang Theory, and I care about it, even though it's a show and not real, it helps somehow.

You are not crazy or alone. I started crying for no reason too and the mood swings were horrible. When I stopped estrogen patches, the same thing happened again but on a smaller scale.
My hot flashes are not coming as often now but still have them after 2 years off the patches. Moods are a bit better but I still cry occasionally. It is just part of the deal I guess.
Try to be around positive people and that helps a great deal.

I finally finished with the doctor. After several painful tests, including an ultrasound, which caused terrible pelvic pain for days after, and a biopsy of my uterus, which caused the worst cramps ever, she decided my hormones are imbalanced, duh, I knew that much. Since I still have cycles she won't prescribe hrt. She said the only option for someone like me is low dose birth control pills. but since I have a history of smoking. she won't prescribe that. Guess she doesn't believe that I quit, which I did a year and a half ago. So, she prescribed Effexor to help with the hot flashes and depression. It helped the hot flashes, but not the depression. I don't cry all the time anymore, but I feel strange. I feel disconnected, no emotions at all. I feel slow, like I'm in a fog. It's only been a week, but I am debating whether to continue or not.

I check in on the site every so often. I have been meaning to comment to a number of the members post but I have been so busy. When I checked in today I had to comment immediately. Do not accept what this doctor is feeding you. You will go through another two months of hell adjusting to this antidepressant. When you are finally "alright" there will still be the side effects. Weight gain, absent-minded, lack of care for things that matter, etc. I speak from experience because I had a bout w postpartum depression. I believe it was caused by a combination of nutrition deficiency, hormone imbalance and a need to deal w some issues. I was prescribed Zoloft and I experienced what you were just describing. It was at least two months of hell. I went from never having a panic attack in my life (I am still free of these despite perimenopause) to not being able to go into a store without dreading one. It was scary. I have real sympathy for people who normally have problems w these attacks. There is a reason why there is a suicide warning on these drugs. I understand that these drugs are a life saver for a lot of people and I am glad they are there for them. But they are not for everyone and can actually hurt them. I do not think these powerful drugs should be initially prescribed by a general practitioner. Once an effective drug is established by a psychiatrist. Then the prescribing can be transferred over. Back to your case, something has changed. You were not like this before. It is perimenopause and your hormones are effecting your mind and body. Often healthcare providers will also prescribe birth control pills (goodbye libido) and I guess this would work but even for non smokers there are risks with them. They are foreign hormones to your body and why use them when you could instead use hormones that are identical to your own body's hormones. There are health care provider who prescribe them, you need to find one. I found mine by going to my local compounding pharmacy and asking the pharmacist for recommendations. A few ladies here recommended the bioidentical route. Please read them again. They know what they are talking about. One suggested a source for the progesterone (yes it is available over the counter). Highly recommend that as a start especially if u are having difficulty sleeping. But in the meantime find and make an appointment w someone who will help you (I ditched my gynecologist of many years when I realized she was not going to help me through perimenopause). They will take blood tests to help determine what is going on. You could be vitamin deficient too. (I do not believe you mentioned that your current provider did any of these blood tests, but a biopsy. Why???). I know many are afraid of estrogen replacement therapy because of the study done back in 2002. That study was very flawed and to add insult to injury there was not a statistically significant increase in incidents of cancers. If one is bringing her low levels of estrogen to normal levels why would this necessarily increase her chances of developing cancer. I believe the cancer risks can occur for individuals who had a lifetime of high estrogen levels but that is not everyone and we should not be lumped w everyone. What it comes down to is weighing the risks versus the benefits.The way I see it the risk is so small but the benefits so great. Of course I am not stupid and get regular screenings. I do not know how long you have been taking Effexor and how high your dose is but it is extremely important to taper off very slowly. Get a pill splitter and cut pills in half and quarters and go slow. Do this w your health care provider who prescribed them because she is all u have now and is better than nothing. I decided to go off Zoloft on my own. I did not realize that as hard as it was going on the stuff, you feel the opposite coming off, awesomely great. But it is temporary. By the time you are there hopefully you will have finally found a provider that will help you the way you need it.

I hope all of this helps get you started to feeling great and functioning again. Feelings, we all have them. The trouble begins when we can't put them into there proper perspective anymore. Life is full of things that should makes us sad/happy, angry/calm, irritated/cheerful. These feelings motivate us to deal with the cause. When perspective is lost dealing becomes extremely difficult. Good luck finding a provider who will help you and not turn you into a zombie! I hope to get updates on how you are making out. Now you see why I have not posted something before. I had a lot to say and it was not going to be quick. Be well! Remember you are not alone!

Thank you all for your help and support. I guess I should fill in some gaps in my long story. I had the ultrasound and biopsy because my periods went crazy. Normal for me is 27 days apart and lasting for 3 days. Starting in November, I bled pretty much the whole month, and lost 15 pounds in about 2 months, without dieting, so of course Cancer pops into my mind. Fortunately I don't have that, praise God. From what the doctor told me, "normal" changes during this stage of life are missed periods and weight gain, not weight loss and excessive bleeding. Anyway, I'm not normal I guess. I definitely am going to look into the suggestions you kind ladies have given me about the bioidenticals and creams. I am still undecided about continuing the Effexor. I was impressed that it killed the hot flashes, but guess what...I woke up drenched in sweat twice last night and had one today. I still feel somewhat disconnected and slow, but I really love that it reduces my anxiety. I'm on the lowest dose and she said she would increase it in 6 weeks if it isn't working. I'm afraid of that, I get any more sluggish than I am, I doubt I could even get out of bed, it's a struggle now. I wish she had done blood tests to see exactly what my hormones are doing. Now more weird things are happening, I am growing a mustache and my hair is coming out by the handfuls. I'm really tired of all this, real, real tired.

Hang in there. I feel the same way. Talk to your doctor and see what they say and if it doesn't make you happy/offer a solution you still have us. :)
For me it's just so nice to know I am not the only one. I can't talk about this with my mom because she's passed on. I had hoped to talk to her. Ironically her passing is what pushed me into peri, but I think it's official now. Anyway, I will keep you in my thoughts.