Menopause Support Group
Menopause is the physiological cessation of menstrual cycles associated with advancing age. It normally occurs in women between the ages of 45 and 55, when the body begins to slow and stop the production of eggs, estrogen and progesterone production decreases, and menstruation diminishes, eventually stopping altogether.
I consider myself a strong woman. I've been raising my kids alone since 1997 when they were 4 & 6 years old. I've slowly moved up the ladder at work. The people I work with trust me to be able to do my work well. I'm a DIYer, doing my own yard work and home repairs. So, why is it the moments when I break down after a bad day that everyone remembers?
A rough day yesterday. My daughter let me know I was being too pushy when I wanted to come help her clean her apartment. This makes me emotional (which it wouldn't have before menopause). Then my son and boyfriend are making jokes about my driving. I start crying uncontrollably. Two years menopausal, and this is just something that happens! My son was nice enough to step away for an hour and then come back to make sure I'd recovered. My boyfriend, not so much. He was making comments hours later about how he can't joke with me any more.
I understand how you feel. I never was much of a "crybaby" either. My worst times were during peri-menopause when I would often find myself crying on my way to work for no apparent reason. I eventually headed to my OBGYN to ask what the heck was wrong with me and she talked to me about peri-menopause and depression and mood swings. She prescribed an antidepressant, which I did take because I hated feeling like that every day. Eventually, I was better and I no longer needed the pills. Try to get some physical activity a few days a week. Whatever you enjoy doing that isn't considered work. Yard work and home repairs are fine, but they seem like work to me. If you like music, turn up your favorites and just dance. I live alone and play music and dance as I clean my house. That way it isn't work, its more like a party. I am recently divorced, and one of our problems was that he was not very understanding of what the hormonal changes were doing to me. This new normal is definitely worthy of the name THE CHANGE. Somethings takes over your mind and body and you are out of control. This is especially difficult when you are a "go-getter", independent, take charge kind of woman, which I think you are, as am I.
I was a member and regular contributor of this forum some years ago and it really helped me through that rough patch. I visited it today because I am having crazy hot flashes off and on all day and night. The used to come for no reason, but stress plays a roll in them now. When this happens, I just want to stay in bed and be left alone. However, that is alternate to my normal self so I force myself up and do things. I do not have a significant other right now because I do not feel I'm emotionally stable enough to devote some of my attention to that type of relationship. My father passed away in July and my mother needs help with managing medicine and diet. She is recently diagnosed with diabetes (which is making her crazy) and I am helping her plan meals.
To you I say, I'm here for you! As I read your post, it made me sad because I remember those dark times as if they were yesterday, and the lack of support was especially difficult. You feel so alone and helpless. Please take some time for yourself. Even if you just check yourself into a hotel room for a couple days. I had a friend do that. She said she just stayed in the hotel and cried until she couldn't anymore, and she eventually got an antidepressant prescribed also and is doing a lot better!
Sorry for such a long response and I hope you get some relief soon. It's like a carnival ride that you cannot get off. We may not be able to get off, but I think we can control the direction and speed :-)