I know, MT... I sometimes have that experience of researching some obscure symptom or data point of this illness and turning up one of my own posts, or some long thread from five years ago!

I wonder about Biker and some of the others, also. We've lost two that I know about, Tiggy and... gosh, I can see her avatar, but can't remember her name. She was friends with both of us, lived in a remote rural place, a real fighter. It wasn't Polar Bear, who is still around on some other board... she had two different IDs.

I wonder so much about Josee, who was so strong and had such an aggressive form of this illness... I always was so worried about her. And a few of the other early members-- Jaci or Jaqueline, who was really wonderful, lived in some very remote town in the English countryside, really wanted to quite smoking. I had such a vivid picture of her life... I hope she made it. And those are just the folks who pop into my head right away! There was Brandon Girl... and people who I know are around but just haven't checked in in a while, like Froggy...

I'm a little scared today. I'm going to make a separate post, I don't want to hijack your thread, because it's a good one! When I'm feeling a bit better and have some more time, I will definitely do some more walking down memory lane. I wish we could catalog all the information, tips and tricks we have assembled.

I'm feeling pretty down this morning. I

Was it Denver who changed her name? I remember a lady who had to travel 3-4 hours to see the Dr and was thinking about moving.
Mary Ann

I agree Mary Ann this site saved my life when I was first diagnosed!!! If you look on the Mayo clinic you think you are on deaths door steps. Thank god I had this site to read and see that I could and would fight and do all right. I have learned so much from others and its a blessing to know Im not alone. With MCTD not being very well know this is a great site and group of people.--Michelle

I've been dealing with the symptoms since August 2013. I thought my thyroid was acting up because up until then I had been diagnosed with Hashimoto's but had good levels of TH restored without meds. The MCTD hit me one day just like that. After a year almost of doctors, doctors, tests, tests, tests and nobody knowing what was going on my primary doc and pulmonologist found a diagnosis. I don't think until recently I really accepted this all and made it my own so to speak. You know the doctors just say "rare". This group helps me to do that. Can't really explain it but I think you know what I mean. I'm like 'okay, this is my disease and I will manage it'. Just like anything else in my life. That feels right. So thanks for being here and listening.

Hey Mary Ann,
Great discussion, I feel off the site when Tiggy died. I guess I got scared that it was going to happen to me too. Now I'm in remission and understand this disease effects us all differently. Its great to be back on and hearing from all of you again. Cat, I love your posts, you make me smile. Thanks again for all your in site. Terry

I just about lived on this site when I first got MCTD in 2012. It educated me so much, I met some fabulous people. Then, after about a year, I went into remission and stopped following this site.

Now I am flaring, back in the hell that is MCTD. So sad to read about Tiggy. I remember how kind and educated she was! And Catalyzt, you have given me some stellar advice in the past.

It's bittersweet to be back--I would prefer not to need it--but I love this site. Thank you for keeping it running, and for giving us a place to share.

I was really touched by everyone's comments on this thread.

When I first came to this board, I didn't know anything about support groups, or groups of any kind. Since then, I've co-facilitated a domestic violence group for two years and an Anger Management group for one year and joined AA.

But this is where it all started.

What I learned here has really changed the way that I think about modern medicine and psychotherapy.

There needs to be a culture around medicine, I think. By itself, it doesn't work nearly as well. I can't even count how many times when, based on something I learned here, I said to my doctor, "You know, I don't think that test is a good idea" or "Why don't we run this test instead?" or "Can we try treating it this way, or that way?" Usually, the answer was something like, "Sure. That's not the first thing I would have tried, but what you're saying does make sense." I do think doctors like having patients who are active partners, or a lot of them do.

Opera, welcome-- and Terry and Buffy, welcome back, Auggie, great to hear from you. Remissions come and go, I know that it is frustrating.

MT, you jogged my memory-- I think her name was Dallas, not Denver.

It is bittersweet to think about. And I will say a prayer for those we have lost, for our fallen comrades and fellow warriors.

But most of us survive-- that's what Tiggy and Dallas would want us to remember. And they'd want us to remember that we've had a lot of laughs here, too. There are a lot of battles we've won, and a lot of good memories. And we'll have many more.

--Catalyzt