Happy New Year

Hear Hear on any and all remissions!!!!

The year has started with a bang for most Fiireworks seem to be standard now adays.

The biggest shock here was we did a weigh in this morning and it was not good this last year as seen my weight rise and fall and now rise again, to a massive yet still 2 stone lighter than my worse, 23 stone. THATS APRROX 322LB. back over 300 is upsetting but I will not be there for long. I dont do news resalutions I feel they are a waste of time as you break them. I dont diet cos that makes you hungry. So once the Doctors given me the all clear back to swimming. In the mean time a check of the cupboard and destroy the crap.
Enough moaning about weight
Its 2010 and a whole year of fun and adventure awaits us all

I have only been having major problems for 4 years. I hope a remission will come soon. I have been the worst I have ever been in the past 4 months. I hope there is an end in sight.

Good luck to all!

Jessica

This holiday season pretty much wiped me out. No energy, very hard to take good care of myself, I feel cranky and unreasonable and the house is full of boxes. Brain fog has been very bad, my memory has been very scattershot. Stomach is not good right now.

Last night, a friend told me I looked really tired and worn out... I mean, I appreciate the honesty, but we were in a restaurant, a public place. If I had been in a better place mentally, and not so run down from clearing out mom's house and a bad cold, it would have rolled right off me... you guys know me, I'm usually pretty high energy and positive.

I felt like saying, "Well, maybe I'm tired because this stupid, hide-bound culture insists that everyone celebrate for over four weeks in a row, and even if I skip all the holiday parties and just do the bare minimum, it's still too damn much for me. Here's a good idea-- why don't I go home and just rest for a while, and you guys can sit here and, like, try to whip up some forced gaiety and just leave me the f*ck out of it?"

What I have to learn to do: Sit through something like this without having two rum drinks. I'm wondering if I should just stop drinking completely for a while. This hasn't been going well.

Sorry I am so cranky. This is definitely the low point of the year for me. It's got to get better. Thank you for listening.

--Cat

Sorry things are not going well right now......this time of year SUCKS. completely agree, everyone tries to put on the perfect face and it drags you down. i hope everythings starts looking up and you feel better soon.


Beth

BIG WARM FUZZY HUGZ to all here...my new years was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop...I refused all invites to parties and just stayed home with my wee ones (my pomeranians) we ordered a pizza and just watched some TV then went to bed by 11...didnt even ring in the new year till we got up at 8:30 the nest morning... :) ....that felt great not to be stressed out or be around drunks or superficial people....looks like I am a hermit after all....LOL...my resolution is to avoid people even more this year because I really dislike all the high acheivers and their fakeness...which is what most of my family is like and so are some of my so-called friends...the ones that go to the Dominican or to Jamaica every year or they drive big sub-terranian vehicles or they brag about their newest peice of jewelry being those fresh water pearls...blah blah blah....well those same people have said to my face that "You dont look sick so suck it up buttercup and get a life" Well .... I say to them all "PISS OFF EH"

LOL B Girl!!! I didn't ring in the new year either. Sorry you are having a rough time Cat. I hope 2010 is a better one for you. You had a rough year. Hugs to all M

Well, I spent my New Years drinking Green Tea- decaf- and playing Chicken foot dominoes with my kids. Went to bed at 12:30AM. Christmas is exausting, but I think the problem is buying into that commercial view. You know, we all will feel better if we get everyone a gift, see everyone we know to deliver that gift, decorate with massive amounts of stuff you buy, travel all over the place with gas you buy, well, you get it! Simple is better.
My church does not decorate until Christmas Eve. They stay up until Epiphany. We have an Epiphany dinner (but it is next week). It really is a welcome get together as it has no competitors and is so low key. It is outside of the commercial season.
So, lets all rest and get through this cold and snow. I think we all need the relaxation the holiday SHOULD bring. Maybe we can get it now.
Mary Ann

Hi everyone, you all sound like i feel. Even though christmas and new year came and went without too much stress, it tired me out. I avoided most parties, andparty people and just did the things i wanted to do...without guilt. I'm sick of worrying about what people think of me....they dont have to live with chronic illness.
I am snowed in at the moment...and its freezing cold.
I went to London hospital on monday, came back tuesday to a foot of snow...Its sounds like its here to stay for a while.
Thedoctor in London said had a strong marker for rhuematoid arthritis, and has diagnosed me with RA, lupus, sjogens, reynalds and the auto immune liver disease. She believes ive had the RA for long time. The only change is meds is can increase the steroids to 20mg for days when i get sick and has told my GP to give me steroid injections. I go back later n the year to see if there is any change. My grandmother had RA too, but was kind of shocked to find out i did. Glad to have finally seen specialists though and hopefully the extra meds will help.
I cant take RA meds because of liver problems.
I am defintely going to try and move thi year, nearer to shops and a warmer smaller house.....i need an easier life.
Cat...i seriously hope you feel better soon....kno you have friends here who understand.
Love and hugs to all of you....and hope this year brings us all some extra health and happiness.

Great posts, everyone, really picked me up. And I'm glad we all laid kind of low for the holidays, we just had a couple of beers on New Year's and skipped the party scene as well.)

Jacqui, I am glad you are on a prednisone protocol that sounds like it might work without being too aggressive, hope you don't sweat the diagnosis too much, it sounds like you are doing great given everything on your plate, hope you stay WARM (both physically and psychically!)

Brandon, over-achieving is one thing-- but flashing lots of bling and driving a ridiculous vehicle is NOT an achievement, IMHO! Living life with some SPIRIT and a sense of humor in spite of WHATEVER the world throws at you? To me, THAT is a real accomplishment! Keep kicking ass!

MT, I love your approach to spirituality-- again, this seems like the real deal to me. Man, I am so lucky to know folks who have their priorities in the right place. The gifts, the wrapping paper, the gas-- it means nothing, but every word y'all write here means a LOT.

Okay, now I'm getting really sappy, so I'll sign off...

--Cat

I think we all feel the stress and pressure to do "stuff". But, it sounds like those of us with chroic illnesses are learning to tone it down and not carry the guilt. My 42nd bithday was New Years Eve. My friend Diane asked me what do I want to do and who do I want to invite. I chose a private party at her house. She made dinner before the party (steak and Lobster). The party consisted of 15 friends a game of dominoes, some old fireworks and a bon fire. Virtually no drinking and a lot of smiling and laughing.

And enjoy life your way not the way of others. ;-)

Illigitimi non carborundum

Just got a call from my Rheumy. Wants me to go off my Plaquenil as my opthymologist recommended it. He didnt say one thing to me about it. She wants me to see a retina specialist also. The eye guy did say that he saw signs of age related changes that could be early macular degeneration back awhile and this visit said plaquenil could accelerate macular degeneration. But that he didnt think it was a probem now. I am kind of relieved as the Rheumy said Plaq could cause cardiaomyopathy which I recently developed. Also, my cardiologist called and said I definatly had an arrhythmia and he would talk to me about it. Then, wanted to get an appointment right away. But I cant go next week but go week after next. Hope he doesnt want to do anything invasive. I have had enough of that which didnt work. Bladder, steroid shots, ect. I am sooooo depressed right now. I feel my life is going to be so short. I am not even 60 and feel like and old woman.
Time to buck up and get myself together. Back to meditation and counting my blessings. It does help me face my problems, or at least forget for awhile.
Mary Ann

Wow you guys & gals! I have been in hiding because I did not want to bring anyone down. I feel like crap. The MTX is killing me. I mean, it has seemed to help some of the symptoms, but now, after 5 weeks of therapy, they are returning. My stomach hurts sooooo bad. I feel like throwing up most of the time, acid reflux is sooooo bad. I got off the prednisone just last week. Once again, I can hardly walk, extreme weakness in my legs and my finger tips feel raw again. I am so glad I got back on here and read ya'alls post. I'm not glad that everyone feels like crap but it makes my crap feel a little better. Love to all, can we all just get a cabin in the middle of some where and just have our own kind of party, a party that WE understand! Hugs to all!

So tired my car in still in the garage been in now for 3 weeks. This has been my 1st full day back at work and I am having to walk which is hard work normally but with this snow is is even harder, frightened I will trip or fall over. Which is funny has cos on Wed I managed it to work over then 3 hours in I turned round in the over and the next thing I know all I can see is grey carpet and I am lying flat on my face.
Had an optician appointment yesurday and my eye are a little worse but hes concerned on the health of my eye so being referred to GP who I presume will refer me to the hospital.
on the good side lost 8lb in 6 days with all the walking

Hugs to eveyone and keep warm and safe
Tiggy

Numb, that's a great idea. I think our virtual cabin should also have imaginary butlers for each of us. We can have an imaginary roaring fire and do some imaginary skiing, because I sure don't feel well enough to do any real skiing at the moment.

MT, I really feel for you right now. As for the doctor, just refuse the steroid shots, that is such a bullsh*t therapy, absolutely agree, does nothing and dangerous besides.

I don't know what the hell is the matter with me. I have less muscle pain than I have had in about a year, except for the bad leg. I'm able to work out more than usual, but that's the ONLY thing that's normal or better than normal. My eyes are now absolutely on fire, can barely keep them open, my nasal passages feel the same way. It's like there's salt water pouring on them.

I am also very cyclothymic-- raging optimism on Wednesday, practically catatonic today. Just couldn't get anything done. Even the dogs have been pissing me off, I've been yelling at other drivers on the road, maybe I'm hoping someone will shoot me. I'm also kind of confused-- as if you hadn't noticed that already.

At one point I noticed the house was filling up with smoke. Turned out the cutting board was on the electric stove burner, which was on high-- I think my wife did that, but I'm not sure. House did not burn down, which is cool. Parakeet did not asphyxiate. I did remember to soak the cutting board in water.

Oh, crap-- that's right. I'm taking Rhodiola. Maybe that's why I feel so weird. Let's hold off on Rhodiola therapy for a couple of days and see how this shakes out, okay?

This... weird feeling is so strange I can't stand it, and I can tell I'm not going to be feeling any better, so I've been wracking my brain trying to think of what I can do to feel worse. I know-- maybe I'll go 24 hours without BOTH drinking AND smoking for the first time in 30 years or so. That ought to do it. If you think this message is whacked out, let's see what kind of shape I'm in tomorrow.

Maybe I'm getting a cold. I swear, I went to my HMO today to get a mole removed-- just for fun, of course, we don't have cable-- and I could FEEL myself catching everyone else's cold in the waiting room. That's not possible, right? I can't look at some guy sneezing and get a cold that starts immediately, can I?

God, I've had this disease for almost 40 years, and I still can't get over how strange it is. Painful, annoying, inconvenient, even life threatening sometimes? You bet! Dull? Never!

--Cat

Happy New Year to Everybody.... and Merry Christmas though a little bit late.
We (me and my wife) spent the holidays in Berlin. It was fantastic experience, especially the New Year Eve next to the Brandenburg gate. I had however hard time; I had two vaccination shots before the trip (one for the H1N1 and one for pneumoniococcus) and I was feeling terribly especially the first few days. I now have fatigue, brain fog, pain and stiffness in muscles. I will visit a second Rheumatologist this week, just to get a second opinion. In a discussion I had with my step-mother (she is MD), she told me that though she is not specialist in the field, she will never mention a dx for a patient if she was not 100% or at least satisfy the criteria. So, she is a little bit skeptical about my dx, though she believes that it is something autoimmune-related. Anyway.... That's my news.
CAT: I found two more guys in facebook with MCTD. There are going pretty well. One of them has one very famous MD in USA as his Rheumatologist, and he (the doctor) confirmed him that according to his observations the MCTD is somehow less severe for men and the symptoms attenuates by time. This is of course, just one MD opinion.....
So, WE ARE HERE... STRONG, AND WE WILL FACE IT WHATEVER IT IS.....
I wish you all the best to everybody.