All you can do is your best. If that isnt good enough, well, maybe you dont need the stress. Just dont worry about your job. Just do it and wait for him to leave or get fired. It happens a lot!
Mary Ann

FMLA!!!! my dr writes for upto 5days a month which equals 1 day a week which I dont use but when I need it its nice. I think its upto 12 weeks a year ??? They cant do anything to ya then its not counted against ya for sticking it out and working hard I am a nurse work full time so when I have a bad episode I have to take off. They write it as chronic condition Hope that helps -Michelle

Thanks all! We work in pain and/ or discomfort. I think folks don't understand that.

I can't even manage keeping a job because I get sick too much and I never make it long enough for them to keep me. I lasted 3 weeks in my last job. I have been hesitant to try to find work again as I just have one car between me and my husband and I have a 4 yr old that isn't in school and would require childcare. I wish I could work, I truly miss it. I can't not be honest with people about my condition and they never seem to call back when I apply after they hear that despite how interested they appeared before. It really does suck.

Tell the jerk that the supervisor you need to be is one who takes care of herself and of her health so that she can continue to be the supervisor she needs to be in the long run ....

Just wanted to say, go on and cry, let it out. I cry plenty from time to time. It doesnt help some say, but If i think its worth it Iam turning on the water works. I was sole income in a house of six who for years have maxed out vacation and sick time, 26 weeks is how long fmla is. thats per year. But if you use the full time it takes a year from that date to be eligable again. Something good that my doctor knew and I didnt is if you do go out for anytime offically, then go back and have to leave again, dont claim it under the same name. They are better when its different and not the same thing, i dont know why,

jwinn82 - I am so sorry you can't work. I know people who can't, and it breaks my heart. I feel lucky every day that my diseases are still manageable enough so that I can work most of the time. I usually have to take some time off every week because I am ill, but now that I can flex, I am more relaxed about it.

Thanks everyone for the good ideas and advice. As always, i am thankful for this forum. I am actually looking for a forum for spouses who have chronically ill partners for my husband, that is how helpful this forum has been for me!.

Gabrielle

Just to throw this into the mix: When I got my first blood clot (and I do believe MCTD was largely responsible for that) I was working at a large nonprofit that I am too polite to name here. (It was WGBH, their Los Angeles office.) I would hear shit like that all the time-- thinly veiled threats when I took sick leave or FMLA, no one cared that I had to work standing up, lying down, etc. because my leg hurt so bad.

Eventually, it was so stressful my wife and I determined that I had to leave no matter what-- My systolic blood pressure got as high as 185--and I was fortunate enough to find another job where I could bring my own chair and complete my recovery.

The guy who sat to the left of me, my best friend at work? He's dead. Lung cancer, heavy smoker and workaholic, he was there at least 60 hours a week and did whatever he was asked to.

The woman who sat to the right of me, my second-best friend at work? I watched her die just last weekend. Lung cancer, light smoker, but poor self-care and also a workaholic who did whatever she was asked to.

I'm very glad I left when I did; but in a way, I'm glad I squeezed the company for every hour of leave I was entitled to. (Though that's not true; I didn't even use all of it and they still targeted me.)

GAB, management is something you often can really do at home. When I had to set up really complicated jobs, sometimes I would get up early, get on my strider, and get on the headset phone. While I gently exercised, I would talk to my production coordinator... debate the best way to get the job done, who to assign various parts of it to, what the deadlines were, what we should tell the client and when. And I would tell folks, "I'll be in at 11:30, I have to do physical therapy this morning."

I expect you use similar techniques, and you ARE the manager you need to be whether you are at home or not. It just sucks to have someone say something like that to you. It's like, "Nyah, nyeah, you can't complain about what I'm saying, I'm such a clever little monkey." And yeah, I know the anxiety about not being able to work. Right now, I've got two volunteer gigs and two small contracts with paying clients, and it's just way too much. I am in agony at the end of some days... I took the second internship because there was no paying work, and then guess what?! I'm going to be facing 50 hour weeks again. Not all the time, but no idea what I'm gonna do.

I am sorry to hear about the 50 hours a week! I have high blood pressure too, but treatment has helped a lot.

It feel like my two managers want to hide my illness, but when people ask questions, I really don't mind educating them! Sometimes my eyes are swollen and red; sometimes I'll have icepack on my arm, leg, etc. My employees might want to know why.

Half the agency saw me wheeled out on a gurney to the ER. I feel like saying, Common! Everyone knows I am sick. If someone asks a question, let me answer it. Nooooo, of course. I have been told to keep it a secret.

Thanks for your response!!