You have every right and reason to be upset but please don't let your hurt feelings get in the way of loving that baby. Take those presents, wrap them up and give them to your son and daughter in law.
We all come from different backgrounds but that baby belongs to all of you. Showing genuine love is the best way to repair relationships. You have enjoyed buying for your grand daughter ...share that joy with them in whatever way they allow you.
It sounds like you have a loving relationship with your son. Actions speak louder than words. Invite them over and shower them with the gifts. If your daughter in law doesn't come give them to you son don't let her error in judgment get in the way.
I have three sons, two are married and I have three grandchildren. As grams we need to be aware of their boundaries. Choose not to be offended and vent to your husband or a trusted friend.
I do realize how hard this is and am praying the best for you.

Do you have a right to be upset. In a word......yes.

Yes you have a right to be upset, it was just rude that you weren't invited to the shower. I agree with Terrilyne though that you should just graciously hand over the gifts and try to enjoy the baby as much as you are able. Don't let hurt feelings get in the way of the relationship with your son and grand daughter.

I too agree with Terrilynne. Best, I like "Invite them over and shower them with the gifts." Just Son, DinL and daughter. You only have a couple weeks. Just lightly say something about since you were unable to attend the shower, you would like to have a little one for your side of the family. It may have been an oversight of the coordinator. Your daughter -in-law would have nothing to do with the planning and inviting traditionally. Give her the benefit of the doubt and shower both parents with the new gifts from grandparents and aunt. They may love it. Especially since your son probably would enjoy the new parent rituals.

Oh my. I too, would be upset. I tend to over think everything though and wear my heart on my sleeve. I like the idea of inviting them over and giving them the things you've gotten them.

I also agree that now is a good time to kind of clear the air and establish exactly what you're role and "boundaries" will be. Sometimes babies make women all stupid and she may not realize that your feelings have been hurt. Her family may have just gotten excited and maybe even thought maybe you were doing something special yourself? I don't know...definitely talk to them about it...just so everyone is aware and can get on the same page now...before the little one gets here.

Good luck!!

I would be crushed.
I agree that you should wrap up granddaughters gifts, invite them over and have your own little celebration.
It may be hard but it is best for you to clear the air. That way you won't be carrying around the hurt.
Take good care,
Teisha

Thanks guys ,yes I will not stoop to their level. And I dont want them to know they hurt me ,Ill speak to my son and give him all my gifts for the little princess.Sometimes I feel like well they dont like me and think Im horrible (I barely know them so I dont know where they get this Ive always treated my DIL nice ,I make sure I do. ) that I just should be a biatch ,but it only hurts me if I did that .I just wish they knew old folks have feelings

Don't exclude her from giving the gifts. She may not have known you were not invited. Lean toward her being innocent until proven guilty. Just talk it out with both of them. Never Assume! I mean if they really didn't like you, would they also not like your daughter, the sister-in-law? If you include your daughter then you can make it a very special occasion for all 5 of you. Gram, Gramps, Mom, Dad, and Aunt.

Yes that WAS rude of them. Have your own little shower with them and your family. hugs Marilyn

I am going to try this post again. I have one Grandson. Was not invited to any showers. Yes, I was hurt. but hid my feelings and went on. It turned out to be great. When the baby was born, guess who got to hear him on the phone make his first cry? Guess who got called to help, please? Guess who has a daughter in law that cried when I offered to come and help when my son got sick? She and I have a wonderful relationship. She did not plan those showers and never really thought they would be important to me. And, in the end, they wernt. My Grandson loves me, my son loves me and my daughter in law loves me. I gave them a few gifts when the baby was born, things they needed. I listen for things he needs and just take something little every month or so. Mostly, I try to see him whenever I can.
Yes, I was hurt too. But a shower is not the most important thing. Being there to help will make you the person they want to see.
Give a little party of your own. They will love you for your thoughtfulness and realize that this little one is important to you too! After all, it is YOUR grandbaby!
Congrads.
Mary Ann

all this loving kindness and forgiveness, i think i hold onto anger a bit too much for my own good and those around me. pig headed taurean sometimes. glad everyone else was helpful and useful, i am indeed getting more adolescent (egocentric) with my pain. good to have you all to keep me in check and a bit more mindful of other's feelings. thanks. t

I just wish that people would get to know a person before judging them some of us have a crusty exterior but are filled with marshmellow .I have struggled this whole time with "stop dont buy too much ,quit sewing so many blankeys ,we know youre excited but dont go overboard ." Another issue is Christmas I had 3 family members die at Christmas long lingering illnesses ,my brother father mother in law and fatherin law oh 4 actually all happened when my kids were little ,mother in law died on my sons 10th birthday Dec 22 ,my DIL complains about my Christmas spirit .I have recently explained to her so hopefully she will try to be more understanding .People should really get to know people and see what makes them tick lol

UPDATE
Got a message from DIL
Sorry you were offended not being invited to the shower my sisters and a friend planned it and my friend doesnt like you and "daughter" I dont know why you are upset with us .
Wow I feel so much better . But I will just let it gooo

I agree with the others, let it go so you can continue to have a relationship with your son and soon your dear new grandbaby. But me, the stubborn Irish-German, wouldn't let DiL forget the wrong. Be like the Ray's mother on the comedy "Everybody Loves Raymond"....if you've seen the show you will know what I mean. There is more than one way to skin a cat, or a DiL.

I am going to take you guys advice and let it go especially since upsetting a 9 month pregnant woman isnt at all nice.
Im going to watch every episode of Everybody Loves Raymond and study ,
So its something like " Oh the roast is nice dear you did the best you could with that tough old piece of meat "??? Oh and Im Irish too I never forgive or forget but I can be nice