I actually got some dates today for my upcoming FET! Since I had complications with my last attempt at an FET, they said they are gonna alternate birth control with lupron starting in the beginning of July. Then July 18 I'll go in for my baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. Hopefully it will be a green light to begin the cycle, my body has been really struggling these last few rounds so I'm not really feeling positive about any of it so we'll see how it goes.

@fsugrad05 at least now you have dates and you can start getting your head in the game! We all know this is at least 50% a mental game!!

So tomorrow I take my last day of active bc... and my husband starts his antibiotic. On Wednesday we see the RE and Wednesday night is our first dose of stim. I am going to be on here quite a bit after that... the stim and post retrieval time is hard on my emotions so I am sure i'll be venting quite a bit!! We hope to do the retrieval the last week of June and then the PGS. I am hoping to do the transfer by the third week of July! As always, I am staying positive and trying to keep my insight and perspective in focus as the roller coaster is gearing up for some mega twists and turns!! <3

I am 6 days past a 3 day transfer. Trying to keep my mind busy, and sometimes I can since I have a 4 year old running around here... but still it's never far from my thoughts. My beta is scheduled for next Friday. Just hoping and praying this worked!

Fsugrad, thats awesome! I am excited for you. Why don't you feel positive about it?
Msmooney, your stim date is soon! We'll all be hormonal together, yay! lol
Kristilynne, omg, excitement! How did the Beta go?

I have some really crappy news. Total WTF just happened mode since Thursday. We made it all the way to retrieval. MENTS: Got 3 eggs, woohoo! Note, I had 3 dominant follicle cycles prior and was forced to cancel them all. Always have 7-15 AFC though, which is not a bad factor when I am extremely low in AMH. Anyway, Day 1, two were mature and fertilized successfully. Day 3, one 6 celled, one 7 celled. I was ecstatic. Day 5, no change. Yikes. The lab said this is a very bad sign. Day 6, one degenerating, one never made it to blast, just stuck at multi-celled. They don't know if it was my eggs, my husbands sperm, or my 3rd private thought, a crappy petri dish/embryo environment/lab techniques. I am crushed because I went through a lot to get there, and in the end, the embryos did not thrive. Is this a common thing? I am shamed and embarrassed that I can only get 3 eggs, while others report 20+ eggs. My husband is a doc and he says "you're 38, this response is normal; we got tons of more cycles to go until we get the right ones." However, my RE and my comparison of myself to others online make me feel like a strange, rare case. END MENTS. Getting AF in a few days and repeating the same protocol (tons of clomid, low dose menopur, cetrotide then ovidrel trigger). Should be swimming by late next week. Trying to stay hopeful.

Hope114 - Definitely do not feel shamed about how many eggs you get! I am 33 and last month I got 4 eggs with one fertilized and this time around I only had 2 eggs with one that fertilized. All my tests are normal and nothing should be wrong with me, we have male factor infertility. My RE literally told me at my transfer that I must have some delicate ovaries....I love our RE btw! Lol! I have the same protocol really as you, except no clomid, I was on femara. I can certainly relate though, at my retrieval when the nurse said 2 eggs I just burst into tears. Everyone always says it only takes one...it seems to be my mantra lately.
My beta isn't until next Friday, so 6 more days!!!

Hope114, I do not feel positive because my last FET was cancelled due to fluid in my endometrium in May. And I developed OHSS in January when I was on stim meds for my egg retrieval. So just bad experiences have made me cautious. My body hasn't been responding well to the meds.

I am sorry about your embies :(

Hope114- after two stims, we have one embie. The first - we got two abnormal embies, the second we got two with one abnormal. I have the lowest Amh possible. Seriously. You are among good company. It is so discouraging to go through all that for nothing, I completely understand. Keep trudging....

Thank you, guys (tearful); I am definitely in good company and thank you for letting me vent. What you shared makes me feel more normal. This is a long journey, so if I want to be a mommy so bad, I need to stay focused and patient. I am not a person who cries easily, but ever since starting IVF meds, I can cry at anything and easily get upset. This is not even the real me, it's the temporarily hormonal me. I will be having a WTF phone meeting with my doc soon and will let you know if she changes my protocol. We were thinking of possibly some HGH as an add-in boost, although my RE is not a huge fan of it.

FSUgrad, I hope everything is good and that you recovered from the set backs. Maybe they'll stim you less and keep careful watch of your estrogen levels to prevent OHSS in the future. Glad you made it to FET! I am hoping to be in that phase in a few months.

Finally over being ashamed, and ready for AF already!
Hope

When I describe how I feel I always say "ashamed" and "embarassed". It's horrible that many of us feel this way but I feel better knowing I'm not alone. My first cycle I developed 6 mature follicles. We cancled collection morning of while at the doctor because my husband was unable to give a sample. Things get to them too. Any way, it's a really good feeling to not be alone. I see everyone happy posts online but forget no one posts the bad things that happening in their lives. Only the happy glimpses. I'm happy to have found this group. I dont feel so wrong for the fist time in 3 years.

Labfairy, welcome! Your post helped me feel better, so I thank you for it. I am sorry about your collection. And yes, good point, we see so many positive-only BFP stories (enter 2-week-wait; babycenter) online. I also wonder how many of those BFP stories sadly didn't make it? Or didn't mention that it took them several months/years. I am trying to stay off those sights because it gives you a very biased sample of what reality may be like. **hugs**

I got on baby center as soon as I got pregnant in the fall... got in my due date group, started talking names etc. And i miscarried just over 7 weeks. I will not do that again. I will wait until 8 weeks plus heart beat before I get carried away... because it only took that much longer to heal. So yes plenty of people don't make it to full gestation :(

I am 22 weeks today! After 3 iui's & 3 ivf transfers using donor eggs, it's a boy! Everything is going smoothly. Our 20 week anatomy ultrasound was amazing. We go in Monday for a fetal eco of the heart. Apparently ivf babies have a slightly higher risk of early heart defects. Feeling hopeful as our 17 week & 20 week ultrasounds were clear & showing no signs of issues. My 42 year old bump is blessed!

Baby dust to all!

@MaizyDottie Congratulations! At 42 that is amazing, incredible and inspiring! Thank you for sharing! Does this handsome little man have a name yet?