Hi mjr, welcome to the forum! It seems like you have more formal tools than the folks in the forum right now, but since you put out a question, I'll try and throw out some ideas.

Has something changed in your routine recently, a new place of work, or a new home or contact with a new set of people or a new environment that could trigger the desire to use? Or maybe since you're in the end of your studies the addictive voice in you is freaking out that "this is real" and trying to push you back down?

I've been pot free for around two and a half years and booze free for almost six months, so you have more sober time than me, but so far I've not experienced what you're describing. What do YOU think?

Hey Lucy thanks for the advice. You know you mention formal tools, I am in my third semester with one semester left for my Associates in Drug and Alcohol Counseling, and what gets me is I know the signs. I mean for goodness sake I have more knowledge than the average person in recovery and yet here I am having issues. It just goes to prove, I guess, that you're never too well educated or too far along in your recovery to be tempted and relapse. As far as something changing in my routine, nothing has really changed but with school and all I am under a lot of stress (17 semester hrs...yikes) because this is the last semester for my core classes to be offered. Then when I'm done here I'm looking at another 3 1/2 to 4 years for my masters. We are also in the process of trying to find a bigger house cause our family has just flat out grown this one. So after digesting what you said you're right I need to stop and take a breath and realize it's just my old addictive, primal brain trying to find a survival need. I guess it's time to pull out my REBT and Choice therapy worksheets and get to work. Thank you for your help. Things still aren't great but I know where to look. By the way watch out for the very same thing I'm going through, it's called, "The Power of Three's" there are marks in your recovery time where stuff starts popping back up and if you're not careful you can relapse. If anyone wants more info message me and I can send you a copy. 3 years is one of those marks and here I sit fighting it. Thanks for the help I really do appreciate it.

Well as a Drug and Alcohol Counselor I have learned quite a bit about "Legal" marijuana or spice, bath salts, salvia, and a lot of these other supposed legal alternatives. I can say this you are lucky unlike real marijuana, spice can actually kill. There have been reports of a high number of users, whether they've used for the first time or for a long term, that have had heart arrhythmia's and other heart related issues with spice. My advice to anyone using it as an alternative is to stay away it is a lot more potent and that is actually what makes it dangerous. Thanks for bringing that up Andre I know a lot of people think by switching to spice they're ok and they need to know they are actually taking a bigger risk. The only way to be sober is total 100% abstinence. I have a list of info on this topic if anyone is interested.

My journey is going well now. I found where I had let some past addictive behaviors pop back up. So I pulled out my steps and other resources and got myself back on track. Of course I never would have realized it without some of the help from y'all guys.