Marijuana Addiction & Recovery Support Group
This community is dedicated to those looking to overcome their addiction to marijuana, a drug produced from parts of the cannabis plant. Join the group to find support among people who are also looking to cease their habit of smoking marijuana, share your experience, and get advice. It's not easy to kick the habit, but together we can.
Just abit of background.
I've been smoking weed almost daily since I was about 15 years old and I'm now coming up 22. Within this periods of time I've had extended clean periods but also extended use periods and I wouldn't have called myself an addict until January this year but I have been smoking it 6 or so years. At first I loved it and it was very fun but over time the fun wore off, when I was younger I sold drugs for people to get free weed, I used to be an A level student but dropped out of school alot due to being excessively bullied and then fell in with the wrong crowd I guess.
I have done alot of soul searching recently and cut out people that are bad influences, I've changed my outlook towards people in general and I really care about my actions and how they affect those around me now. I want to be a respectable adult that gets a career, house, car and family one day and I want to change for my future, and my families happiness. Before I was not the greatest of people but this new me needs rid of an old habbit.
In January I went through a few traumatic events to me, that involved an ex beating me up while on was on holiday and confessing her love to someone else, I was pretty busted up and distraught for many months, I still am to be fair,[this was an abusive relationship something I now realize] it happened while I was in Paris(of all places) and since then I have smoked weed everyday bar a week or so when I tried to quit, spending 1000's of pounds, losing friends, my parents have expressed concern, my drive for life has taken a hit, I don't go into college when I should. All the warning points of an addict, I tick. I have no fun when I smoke weed, I use it to escape I think. I may also add that I do have chronic bowel problems and hearing problems, so in a way weed helped ease my unease with these issues but I have to look else where as it's too much of an evil in my life to justify with that excuse now.
I have developed anxiety and depression, I'm not sure if I'm in the early stages of a psychotic disease as I'm almost always derealized/ personalised but this has been happening for years to me now and I will worry about this after I get clean from drugs.
I always talk myself into saying weed isn't that bad etc but deep down I feel guilt and I know what I'm doing to myself. I have a fucking problem and I need to address it.
I won't see a councillor or physiologist just yet, that's not me, I still believe I can do this myself, probably a big downfall of mine is not asking for help but people of this forum, I need help. If it can start with a few of you telling me how you started a road to recovery, that'd be splendid.
I have never opened up about this like this before but I guess I'm ready now.
Thanks for your time guys and gals.
I've been smoking weed almost daily since I was about 15 years old and I'm now coming up 22. Within this periods of time I've had extended clean periods but also extended use periods and I wouldn't have called myself an addict until January this year but I have been smoking it 6 or so years. At first I loved it and it was very fun but over time the fun wore off, when I was younger I sold drugs for people to get free weed, I used to be an A level student but dropped out of school alot due to being excessively bullied and then fell in with the wrong crowd I guess.
I have done alot of soul searching recently and cut out people that are bad influences, I've changed my outlook towards people in general and I really care about my actions and how they affect those around me now. I want to be a respectable adult that gets a career, house, car and family one day and I want to change for my future, and my families happiness. Before I was not the greatest of people but this new me needs rid of an old habbit.
In January I went through a few traumatic events to me, that involved an ex beating me up while on was on holiday and confessing her love to someone else, I was pretty busted up and distraught for many months, I still am to be fair,[this was an abusive relationship something I now realize] it happened while I was in Paris(of all places) and since then I have smoked weed everyday bar a week or so when I tried to quit, spending 1000's of pounds, losing friends, my parents have expressed concern, my drive for life has taken a hit, I don't go into college when I should. All the warning points of an addict, I tick. I have no fun when I smoke weed, I use it to escape I think. I may also add that I do have chronic bowel problems and hearing problems, so in a way weed helped ease my unease with these issues but I have to look else where as it's too much of an evil in my life to justify with that excuse now.
I have developed anxiety and depression, I'm not sure if I'm in the early stages of a psychotic disease as I'm almost always derealized/ personalised but this has been happening for years to me now and I will worry about this after I get clean from drugs.
I always talk myself into saying weed isn't that bad etc but deep down I feel guilt and I know what I'm doing to myself. I have a fucking problem and I need to address it.
I won't see a councillor or physiologist just yet, that's not me, I still believe I can do this myself, probably a big downfall of mine is not asking for help but people of this forum, I need help. If it can start with a few of you telling me how you started a road to recovery, that'd be splendid.
I have never opened up about this like this before but I guess I'm ready now.
Thanks for your time guys and gals.
Am excited for you to be making an attempt at changing your life and staying off the weed. It is a very alluring substance, and it tends to creep it's way back into lives over and over. Seemingly harmless, apparently mellowing, but in essence a waste of time, energy, clarity, coping mechanisms. It totally jacks up the nervous system. Totally inhibits the natural digestive system, and ability to sleep. Totally makes us slower, less communicative, less creative. It is only an illusion that it creates better art, and relaxation. It stuffs feelings down. Bottles it all up. So, good for you at attempting sobriety.
The first days are the hardest days. Yet, in my experience, even months and maybe even years down the road there are dangers for the total marijuana addict. Like, after time many of us forget why we quit and just remember the good times, and it sneaks it's way back into lives. Very subtle, powerful and pernicious.
There's a great book, downloadable for free at www.marijuana-anonymous.com It is called Life With Hope. Helped me quit. I'm currently 10.5 months off the weed. I tried to quit for years without an in-person support group, but never made it this far before.
Hey, keep us posted. I'll do the same.
I wear an elastic band on my wrist just now, as a physical reminder to stay sober, I only know the meaning of this band but when I have craving I look at it and remind myself its time to change. I've had very little apatite for the last few days but I read this is normal.
I hope I can go 10 months too and then beyond. I no longer want to rely on something for pleasure, I actually want to feel again.
I wish you the best in your journey if you have gone that long , you can go forever, you deserve it.
I feel the fact you have gone so long now, proves you are completely capable of removing it for good. You know why you have quit and deep down I don't think you could let yourself do that again. I have read your posts and you have replied with such depth and helpfulness to many people, it's quite inspiring to someone like me that is just starting.
I respect the struggle you have gone through to get to your position, I understand how hard it is but you ARE free, embrace it, accept in your soul that you have done it, celebrate a little on your year anniversary, go out for something to eat and then move on. You don't wana go ba k to the haze and madness, anxiety, depression, derealization, the place of guilt and sadness.
you have given many people advice, from what I see, in their dark times and I respect that alot. I don't know you and never will but you have given many people that little bit of extra courage to keep going.
Thankyou from this random person.
Yes when I hit one year (in about a month), I'll have a nice celebratory mood! I've been enjoying life more than most of the time lately. Been playing around with hobbies and projects that have nothing to do with either getting loaded, or recovery. Just fun life.
All the same, I am planning on keeping a vigilant eye out for that demon. It has been a subtle foe and there is no way I ever intend to let it sneak back into my life.
How is it going with you today?
Today I feel good, I was on the verge of going to the doctor to speak to a mental-health worker the other day, when I was really down but I'm not gonna, I can still wait this out I think. I feel more optimistic today..
We can do it!