Marijuana Addiction & Recovery Support Group
This community is dedicated to those looking to overcome their addiction to marijuana, a drug produced from parts of the cannabis plant. Join the group to find support among people who are also looking to cease their habit of smoking marijuana, share your experience, and get advice. It's not easy to kick the habit, but together we can.
So, last week (or so) I posted that I blew it (and inhaled) and got busted for bringing hash to my friends house, as it's highly illegal in this country and could jeopardized his job. I also said that I pitched the hash into a field....well...I didn't AND...I just smoked some more. First chance I got, when the whole family was gone (and for a while) I grabbed the pipe, used one of my friends good knives, cut a nice hunk off and went out side and took some puffs.
Then, I came in, washed up, sprayed perfume all over my jacket, then set it outside and even put a fabric softener in the pouch with the pipe and hash.
And now...I feel BAD!! Paranoid that a neighbor saw, paranoid that my friend will smell it when he gets home (she won't mind too much) and paranoid to flush the remainder, as the plumbing here SUCKS. (Had to plunge a small poo this am as it would not go down) and hash is pretty sticky.
What do I do...I need to get rid of the rest, so it's no longer a temptation??
I know why I did it...she rattled me this am. Gave me an overwhelming task, before I was even awake and I am PMS'ing BADLY!!! I know, excuses, excuses..
AND...I'm not even enjoying the high!!!!!
Then, I came in, washed up, sprayed perfume all over my jacket, then set it outside and even put a fabric softener in the pouch with the pipe and hash.
And now...I feel BAD!! Paranoid that a neighbor saw, paranoid that my friend will smell it when he gets home (she won't mind too much) and paranoid to flush the remainder, as the plumbing here SUCKS. (Had to plunge a small poo this am as it would not go down) and hash is pretty sticky.
What do I do...I need to get rid of the rest, so it's no longer a temptation??
I know why I did it...she rattled me this am. Gave me an overwhelming task, before I was even awake and I am PMS'ing BADLY!!! I know, excuses, excuses..
AND...I'm not even enjoying the high!!!!!
I hate that feeling of having to rely on the hash or the weed. I extra hate it when I don't have it and I want it. How about how much you hate that feeling of quitting and then throwing away good stuff, and then going back to wanting to smoke, but you don't have the stuff anymore? WHAT A NEVER ENDING DOWNTRODDEN ROLLERCOASTER!
Its like, if it has that much sway over you, may as well just admit that there is a problem. If you love life, if you love the huge potential that you were born with and want to live up to it, Quit. Toss it and quit.
I hate that feeling of being a guest in someone's home, someone who is going out of their way to accommodate you, to chat with you about their life, their day, their ideas...and you are sneaking around not being honest? Ugh, what a downer!
I am so glad to not smoke. So glad to be 20 days into it with sobriety. It was tough, and would be even tougher if I wasn't home being sleepless. But I am so glad I did it. Baby steps though. I am not out of the jungle. But I am so glad that I am able to be honest with people and not be hiding. Ugh.
Be strong.
That cup of water suggestion is great.
Also, sorry about the PMS - I've heard that in the future, cut down on your sodium, increase your water intake, and increase your exercise...and the cramps won't be so bad. But that could be just total absolute b.s. I'm a dude, I don't know how it is. But I do know that it will pass.
Just know, youre not alone (why does someone suffering with you help)? It feels wrong somehow. I guess if someone's suffering with pot withdrawal and craving, they should be doing it together. LOL