Every time I quit weed, I go back to these MA groups in my area. Each time I go I hope to come out feeling glad that there are other people like me, but when I leave I have a bad feeling inside and am quite angry at myself for going through the meeting, again.
Most people identify themselves as drug addicts or alcoholics, which is great and all, but I wish most everyone was a weed addict as I am.
The speakers are usually drug addicts with a side of weed, and some of them are just so low energy that I feel depressed even listening to them.
Then to top it off they always seem to squeeze the hey I couldn't do it myself so I had to come here, and I was failing until I started doing the steps so now I get it and I'm leading a better life.
It's like ok great for you, but I don't subscribe to the 12 steps and never ever will. I understand allot of these meetings are to meet people and get a sponsor, and ultimately go through the steps or you are bound to fail again.
That and the girl tonight that was speaking had 6 months clean...like really, 6 months and you're already prepared to tell other people how you got a whole 6 months clean...come on now.
I must be crazy because I'm not doing the steps and I'm just wallowing in pain and suffering from just doing it on my own. I don't know really what to think, except I can't do this to myself again...well not unless I'm sure as heck I want to go through the steps etc - that will never happen.
I believe in excersise and abstanence. I believe that if you reach a certain low with a drug and want it bad enough, anyone can get clean. With being clean everything else seems to be much more manageable, except the anger I sometimes get, but that can be as well from the nicotine withdraw...yeah I'm pretty screwed it seems, at least to them since I'm not working steps.
Anyone else ever been to meetings that aren't 12 stepped based? I know this may be allot being as that weed smokers don't seem to really understand what an issue pot can be and just do it their whole lives to some extent. I'm sure some don't have a problem, but that's a non-issue right now.
The only things I can say I miss about you are ; The ability to stay asleep through the night without having dreams wake me up every hour or two.I also miss spending 25+ a day on weed to keep that feeling of getting high going...because anything less than an 1/8 or a G of oil just will not do it. I miss that feeling of crap I don't have enough for the day what am I going to do since I spent most...