Well I've set a stop date, am going to 12 step meetings and have a sponsor. Even tho others around won't stop. I'm determind to get clean.

It can be hard when everyone around you smokes and there is the illusion of pressure for yourself to join in, but after that first refusal. it will get easier. Let everyone around you who smokes, know you have stopped. Just have the willpower, which you have no doubt. Good luck in school and future endeavors!

I know it can be so hard when people close to you are smoking all the time. I'm struggling with the fact that I may even end up losing some very dear friends because I'm trying to quit getting high. I know the temptation of being around them, and the association I have with them and getting high, might be too much for me to endure at this point. So, if getting clean means that I get clean friends (and lose a couple who are drugged all the time) than that is what it means. It would be a tragedy to surrender the best years of your life (or mine...or your kids') because of unhealthy outside influences.

Sending prayers your way :)

BA

My stop date has come and gone and so has my sobriety. Lost my sponsor to health issues. she isn't sponsoring anyone right now nor is she going to anymore AA/NA meetings. I'm concerned for her.

I'm still going to meetings but its has been awhile. I'll be going to one this Wednesday. Unfortunatly there isn't any in my town nor will I have a ride until then. I currently don't have a car.

Also, my oldest daughter was caught with MJ in school. She was expelled from the school and is now attending a cyber school. She also had criminal charges pressed on her and was "lucky" in her sentencing. She got 6mos probation and has to get a D&A evaluation and classes. She starts probation on March 12th. Thankfully, she learned her lesson, but still smokes at home.

I'm hoping that she will quit even when her probation is up. I'm planning on quitting with her to give her more support. I know it is a ways off, but I'm not very confident in myself to do it alone right now.

Another unfortunate problem is arising. I've been drinking more in the past few months and that scares me too. I don't like my girls seeing me drunk and staggering. I feel worse after drinking then I do when smoking. However, that is for another group.

Again, for another group, is the constant stress I'm under. I think/know that most of that is because of the MJ. (ie. no money for needed things, bills, no car, just all around feeling stuck).

Anyway, still trying to keep positive and trudging along in life. Like it is said it is the fear of change, but some how i'll manage I always do.

This is exactly the place I was a yr ago. The morass of feeling bad , smoking, spending money, and feeling bad. The thing is that once you can break the cycle then things change. You get your self esteem back, the earning power comes, the work, the positive feelings and then it is a positive cycle. I will pray for you to just go for it. I couldn't quit alone. I too would quit one then ramp up another addiction. this is a normal thing in addiction.

Try to focus on the goal/positive things. ask for help from god.

1is2