I’m going through an emotional rollercoaster y‘all I feel like I’m grieving hard and for legal reasons I have to stay sober.

COVID was difficult where I was; when the borders closed, no more drugs were coming into the country and somehow locally produced meth flooded the market and created a nasty epidemic.

At the same time, my closest friend on the planet started to behave strangely I couldn’t put my finger on it but something seemed really off. A few months ago he disappeared, and a mutual friend told me that he was in prison accused of being part of a drug network that was growing (illegal here), smuggling, selling etc. 

I couldn’t believe the news I was convinced he was falsely accused, maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time etc. but unfortunately as more evidence came out I had to accept that he really was involved with this network be it directly or indirectly.

Last month he got sentenced to 10 years. I’ve been on holiday trying to come to terms with this but it’s hard. I go back home in a few days where there’s this awful war on drugs and I can’t use or drink anything because it puts me at risk of losing my job or going to jail. 

I feel so lost and sad and hurt and angry and I don’t know why to do with myself