Hi Neilster, welcome to the forum!

Put as much energy into being clean as you did into being stoned.

Example: start everyday on this forum or on the MA site, throw away all your paraphanelia, avoid dopers like the plague they carry, start exercising EVERY day, start reading inspirational literature, find a therapist you like and respect. Start doing community service or find a church home.

Choose the most embarrasing/shameful, horrible memory of what being stoned makes you do or be. Now, everytime you want to smoke, force yourself to play back THAT memory in all it's hideous detail, from beginning to end. EVERYTIME you want to smoke. I promise after a short time, this will change your outlook and wake you up to the truth of what being a stoner really looks and feels like.

Start making your plan to beat the addiction and tell us about it.

My story is not unsimilar to yours and I have two years of joyful, beautiful sobriety. It can be done and it's the best thing in the world.

Best to you,
Lucy

You made the right first step. Yes you gave up other drugs but you never got rid of your addiction, and you used marijuana to keep it satisfied.
My son started going to AA regularly most there are dual addictions He has found such a comfort in the fellowship. Once he got his sponsor and really working the steps he could see more clearly. And now hearing others that are new and some not yet accepting their addiction he said it is so easy to see.
You must cut all ties to freinds and family that use. It can become very loney, but you are not alnoe we are here and that is why joining a home group is so important.
Let us know how you are doing.
Good luck

Welcome. Honesty is a great start. I know what you mean about getting off of it and feeling so awkward. Being clean becomes a new normal. There is hope. I would suggest reaching out to other marijuana addicts who are in recovery and clean. From my understanding, addiction is a progressive disease that requires daily maintance for a change to be clean and to stay that way. I use marijuana anonymous and other 12 step programs, that's what works for me, and that's where I meet other potheads, like me, who used pot and other drugs and alcohol for 20+ years and who have years of clean sobriety.

wassup neil, I've been blazin for about 15 years now, stopped just over a month ago. I just wanted to say I relate to what you wrote. I'm not qualified to give you any advice... so I wont really try. I'll just say that I moved away from my dealers and friends that would blaze with me, and because I'm determined and desperate to change, I'm not looking for new links. It gets really hard at times, but 47 days in to it, I feel sharper and there are more hours in my day. Good luck m8

I've smoked since I was 13, for over 10 years daily, starting at 5 am. I am now only on day 5 of not smoking, quit cold turkey. How I did and do it so far.

-prepare yourself. Find out what your personal weaknesses are. and be honest about them to yourself, and others if you have good support, which you should have. if you dont, find it, and there's places like this one too. Maybe you have friends, maybe one of them wants to quit with you, whatever, discuss it. I do it together with my partner.
-choose a fair date to start. work towards that date, finding out more and more of what could go wrong by looking at yourself honestly, and overcome it. f.e. If you worry you'll get too much energy, do sports. if you worry you'll get bored, find hobbies, visit friends or family, or whatever, nice tvshows, whatever keeps you busy, if you smoke because you dont like your life, change it, etc. realize you might not like your life BECAUSE you smoke. it's fucking boring.
-get rid of everything about pot. phone-numbers(no, no backups because you wont want to make relapse an option), crushers, papers, anything, pot-shaped-lamps whatever, t-shirts, anything you can imagine that could trigger that nasty addictive piece of your brain, get rid of it.
-remember who you want to become. You will never become that if you dont stop smoking.
-Imagine what you could do to make your life better with all of the money that you now throw away. it's a ridiculous amount of money (, for real do the math, include the munchies money and the tobacco money and all the years or even just this last year), which you can obviously spend better, and it will keep you in that circle for ever, of being depressed etc because you dont have a life because the pot comes before anything else. it IS stupid. admit that it is stupid and that you want out. I could also throw money in the garbage can. and my lungs, veins and brain along with it.
-if you have pets, realize you keep them addicted too if you smoke inside the house. with kids, realize you're their example and teacher.
-imagine that what you smoke has nothing to do with nature anymore most of the time, you're smoking all kinds of really dangerous nasty stuff like sugar which caramelizes in your lungs, lead which can kill you, hairspray, and much much worse stuff, dealers throw it in pot to earn more of your money and to keep you coming back, like harder drugs that keep you addicted even more, without you knowing that you're using that drug. here in holland they often throw in speed (cheap polluted version of coke which includes rat poison etc) f.e.. You dont want to give those people your money and life! THEY, are clean and laughing at you for buying their polluted crap, and because of that you're paying their bills, nice couches and vacations instead of your own. I am so mad at myself. I could have had a big house, payed fucking cash, no mortgage, by now. Instead I got my neighbor's couch for free and I live in a crappy apartment in a crappy neighborhood full of dealers. that, is what makes me depressed. endless shame and guilt about being addicted, and no nice ways to cope with those feelings, except smoking to forget it. even if you would work your butt off, you dont get reward at all because you smoke it up instead. you're working for nothing.
-you dont need to cut ties with your friends, if they are real friends they will keep the pot away from you and help you in that way. the thing is, you need to tell everyone who could get you close to pot, NOT to do that, really clearly, some time before you quit. and also after you've quit, you need to prepare yourself when receiving visitors or going somewhere, because they probably forgot. lol. cut ties with people who dont respect your need to grow. you might even be an inspiration to them because of that. Dont get disappointed if you're not though. they probably dont care, because they smoke pot. pot robs you of your feelings, and so of your growth as a person.
-lung-cancer. memory problems. no ambitions, anxiety, paranoia, etc. think of as many negatives as you can, and compare them to the list of what you want to become. the pot is not worth it at all. dont take it from me, but make the actual lists consisting of facts and fears, and look at them if you need to.
-dont be too hard on yourself. You are allowed to feel like crap. You're starting a new life and it's really difficult. keep busy, an actually do things that you like for once, even if it's really small things. you could even spend all the money you spend on pot. yeah for some time it wont be cheaper but way more fun and much more durable. besides, you will need the distractions. in the last 5 days, I have bought myself so many crap, instead of pot. and it keeps me going. oeh and the nice meals too! instead of nice pot so no nice meals because you cant pay for both. so once you've spent the money, you wont even be able to buy the pot anymore.
-avoid anything that you associate too much with pot-use. stay strong at the moments that you cant avoid like after dinner or before bed, whatever are your most important joints/bongs. remember they will pass, it's just your body and brain, telling you it's missing something. nurture both. talk to yourself etc, run around the block, call someone, redecorate rooms, you've got the money to, clean house, whatever helps you to get through it and to get tired because you wont get tired at first.
-if you start dreaming about pot, remember it's your subconscious's way of saying goodbye. dreams are THE way for your subconscious to process waking life. if you smoke pot you dream much less, imagine, you also process much less, which fucks people up eventually.
-ritualize your last day of pot as if you say goodbye to your best friend and throw a goodbye party with all of your pot friends, and have clear to yourself that pot might maybe have helped you in the past if that's so, but does not anymore. remember to remind your friends that they wont be able to bring or smoke pot near you anymore after that day.
-if necessary, go to a psych and tell him the problems that you need to overcome, like aggression, insomnia, unattended, smoked away feelings, of maybe as much as 10 years ago, which you will need to deal with upon sobering up. My shrink was kind enough to give me pills (but I also am a patient there for other stuff). Just dont start depending on those. use them to get through the tough period.
-if you get a wave of really wanting it, let it pass over you. absorb that you are wanting it, accept that that's logical after getting it for so long, and let it pass, keep busy. you feel the wave coming, calmly go fold the laundry. play with your cats.. whatever..
-read up on negative things about pot. especially during those extra hard waves.
-honestly, you dont feel better while on pot. pot enhances your moods. you just make yourself think that you feel better because your addict receptors tell you that you are satisfied, in reality you're not. and if that happens you need to think about all of this and how pot is a lie.
-you want to be in control of your being and feelings, health and money!

that's what's racing through my mind all day. Honestly, I was panicking, but now that I'm sobering up, I'm not. of course it's going to continue to be hard. But if I think back to how I felt 5 days ago, I felt like exhausted crap in comparison to how I feel now, after only 5 days. be patient. you will have to keep telling yourself all of these things and other things that count for you, for a long time.
peace ^^
can u tell I'm doing good? =D
I have never been so sure of anything.
See, a friend, randomly asks us to go out, just now, and I can, because I got the money to, and because I'm not depending on my home where I can smoke!