I think a large part of it is mind set as well as replacing your harmful habits with helpul habits. First of all, the withdrawals SUCK! You should definetely consider starting your day with a walk to release endorphins. Make a goal list and even if you just do one small thing a day, you will feel better.

Therapy might be a good idea to work through some of the bullshit that starts us drug using to begin with. Your life is predetermined to be b.s if you give in to the drug temptation but you have a chance to be authentically happier (not without challenges) if you stop. You are not alone! We are all here because we let our hurts take us down this path. Find strength and encourage others!!

I will definately try to take a walk every morning, make a goal list, and try to find somewhere's to go for therapy. This just all seems so hard, I thought the hardest part was just the first week or so, but I was so wrong. And I really hope that it does get better over time, and that I can be happy, because right now it just really sucks.

Congratulations on 50 days. I when from 3 weeks to 1 week now every 3 days. You give me hope I can make 50. Say I love you to yourself, I do every day. I believe positive thoughs and incants upon ourselves will make us feel better. Embrace your emotions they are sending you a signal. Listen to what they say and then Change your procedure or preception towards a positive focus. Life is the meaning you give it, Change the meaning change your life. Use music put on a song and dance, becasuse motion is emotion. We dont need drugs to change our state of mind, we can do it ourselves. Wake up in the morning and think and say out load, what you are greatful for. I have a new Goal for 50 days no addictions. High 5

My experience was the opposite. The first week I was teary and shakey and so afraid my sobriety wouldn't last, then I started to believe in myself, (but stayed vigilant). Life is a gachillion zillion badillion times better without being a drug addict.

Here is a key that helped me from the beginning: You are NOT your thoughts. There is a greater, wiser, deeper you that can control those thoughts. Thoughts of how miserable you are (meaning you get to be stoned beause you are so unhappy) are the addict's voice in your head - NOT YOU. Would you let a two year old drive your car because she whined and begged?

Another key for me: choose the worst, most emabarrasing, frightening memory of what happens when you're stoned and each time "that" voice pipes up, STOP IT and play that memory tape from beginning to end. That shame, fear and panic is what being a doper is about.

I would respectfully suggest you stop this "poor me" voice and you start parenting yourself. It's harder to be an addict than to be free. You can do this and you can do it with joy and hope if that's what you choose.

With faith in you,
Lucy

p.s. 50 days is so GREAT, you are in a wonderul place to take that beginning and start to soar and explore. Go, go GO!

50 days!!!!!!! that's fantastic:)
First you are not alone. You need to get involved in something. Have you tried meetings like AA, joining a church, or volenteering somewhere?
You might need something for your depression. Seeing a healthcare provider and getting meds to help you through this tough time might be a good step.
Good Luck and God Bless

how are you doin today?

Okay. I'm not really sure to be honest. I think I should probably go to the doctors and get put on depression medication. If I don't I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to stay clean. But I also don't really want to be on them, so I don't know. I'm so lost and overwhelmed right now. I've had depression for a long time I just try to pretend I don't and it doesn't work. So that's my next step. There's alot of steps, but I really am going through with it this time and staying clean unlike any other time.

check it out..marijuana has been scientifically proven to act as a depressant ----GREAT reason for you not to relapse. your answer is not in the weed! I can totally relate to the depression and the sadness..i too have been sexually, physically and mentally abused. Its really sad that sometimes our parents are the first the f**k us up and we are left to pick up the pieces. Im really sorry you have had so much sadness. It isn't fair but its your story! through your story you will inspire others to reclaim their lives...your self esteem will automatically kick in...I promise. Try researching on line which natural supplements for depression - there are many kinds so you will have to research based on your symptoms.
I am really proud of you for reaching out for help. Remember that you are 17 you are still a baby really..its a shame you have to give yourself what your parents should have. Hug yourself :-)

Brave Woman SiMpLyMe!

You stay stubborn and clear and keep clean, no matter what it takes. I promise you that once you rid your life of that devil, all the other pieces will start coming together.

Sometimes a lot of little things add up greatly. Eat healthy food (no crap industrial poison), get VIGOROUS exercise every day if possible, listen to music that makes you feel upbeat, read inspirational books. You are on the right path. It will only get better!

Sending faith and courage,
Lucy

Hi SimplyMe,

Just wanted to check in and see how things are going for you.

I think what you've done so far is incredible and I am so proud of you. Your determination to be "really going through with it this time" is essential.

I really hope that you will reach out for help with real, healthy people in your area. You have been through way more shit than any 17-year-old should ever have to. People have historically let you down and disregarded your emotions...DON'T you be one of those people! Let your feelings be important enough to you to take care of. Pushing down your feelings is what robs you of the energy you need to connect to life. At the same time, if you have been pushing down your feelings and trying to ignore your depression for a while now, you do run the risk of being overwhelmed/sucked into the dark vortex if you try to start feeling all at once. That is why it's so important to have other people in your corner to pull you through if you start to get overwhelmed. Medicine can also help your feelings have less power over you so that they are more manageable. I resisted taking medication for a long time because I wanted to pretend I wasn't weak...I wasted my whole 20s on the sofa that way. Finally, I started taking prozac; now I do things with friends every weekend. I have the capacity to be happy around them instead of always bringing them down, and they want to be friends with me.

I'm not sure what your financial situation is like...hopefully, you have enough money to afford therapy. If you don't, there may be some universities in your area that would offer supervised student counseling for free by therapists-in-training (I am in a program like that now). Also, I see you're 17...if you plan to go to college in the next year or so, most universities offer counseling and/or medication management for free in the student counseling center. I wouldn't recommend waiting that long though.

Congratulations on wanting a better life for yourself and being determined to endure unpleasantness to get it! I believe you can succeed and you are worth it!

-Ellen80