Lisa, I am right where you are...I feel very fragile too.Since my husband died I stopped counting calories. I haven't gained weight either. Every night I promise myself I'll do better tomorrow.
Everything on your list sounds great and you are so young and beautiful, I believe you'll get back on track.
I will pray for you too. Just never give up on yourself.

I am so sorry that you are struggling right now. The loss of your husband is an absolute tragedy, and I can't imagine the overwhelming amount of pain and heartbreak that you are experiencing. :( I am so sorry that you are in a dark place right now. Please know that you are stronger than you realize and that I am so proud of you for having the strength to face the world each day without him. You are an amazing woman, and I just want you to know that I am here if you need me. Hang in there... hugs and support and love are coming your way.

Lisa you have just made a huge decision in the past couple of months to break off a relationship and now you are working long hours. You are worn out both mentally and phyiscally. Absolutely you should not feel ashamed as you are human - not super human. You stated that your weight has not changed...therefore I would guess your body needed more calories...you just gave it the wrong king. You gave it what you in your mind have decided is bad or off limits foods and thus you feel guilty.
You need to get some rest...less hours for a while and perhaps schedule some quiet time for just Lisa. You are strong - you will be OK!

I didn't know you had broken off with someone. You were so kind to me above. The truth is once the compulsive eating returns it's rough.
I do believe you will beat this though. When you have been on maintenance for this long your mind just fights for stability again. Big Hugs to you.

Lisa you already know that you are not alone in this I know what the shame and guilt feel like I have a problem trying to stretch my calorie count to its limit and sometimes eat more that i intend to and go over not binging but slipping up all the same The shame comes form the loss of control that you know you have and when you slip up it breaks your sprit down and you feel like you failed where you have suceeded before and its hard The lack of sleep issue you mentioned in your journal can be a big part of it I have my worst time at night and when Im tired and not going to bed like i like I should I want to find something to munch on that isnt no good for me and I caught myself one night eating a cookie and realized that it was time for me to go to bed but instead of going to bed I ate the cookie so yes there something to thatsqi if yuou can try to get more sleep I like your list iof stategies you have and use alot of the same stuff another thing you want to consider especially when it comes to the baked goods counter at your job hers something that helps me but it takes time to get the mind set down when you look at the baked good instead of looking at it as your drug look at as poison plain and simple no good can come of it and walk away and the longer you do this the easier it gets and the more youll belive it and it will become habit I did this with my biggest vice fried foods Dont get me wrong I do get tempted from time to time when I see it but I think about how bad it is and that it will poison me it stops me in my tracks aslo Do you have any alternatives for sweets that you eat on a regular basis if you dont there are plenty of them avialible I think if you have an alternative sweet you wont crave the sweets at work so much

Sorry this is long winded and I hope this helps I know you can get through you have been under alot of emotions lately and I know once you figure out a balancer you will come from this stronger (((((((hugs)))))))

I glad you posted and showed the willingness to be honest. Honesty was and continues to be a huge step for me.
Please take care of yourself and it appears you are and know that you have all of our support.
Take it One Day at a Time. Be as loving as you can towards yourself.