Hi and welcome to the group. I've just read your post now so I am so sorry for the delayed reply. I really empathise with you in your struggles coping with the disease. In the early stages when your symptoms are not definitive of the disease, the medical community often alludes that you are fabricating symptoms to get attention. Doctors think that females often have phantom symptoms, so they brush off your pain and sufferings and prescribe you with analgesics to get you out of their surgery. To get a proper diagnosis, you must have at least 4 of 11 diagnostic signs and symptoms:

https://www.uptodate.com/contents/clinical-manifestations-and-diagnosis-of-systemic-lupus-erythematosus-in-adults

From your descriptions, it seems that you have not received treatment or have received inadequate treatment to be overwhelmed with pain and exhaustion. Once your doctor prescribes you with hydroxychloroquine, the pain and exhaustion would be reduced significantly. Draft a timetable where you arrange to do labour intensive tasks in the morning, whilst the least physically demanding tasks in the afternoon, when your energy level is waning. Having naps will also recharge your body. Another thing is to avoid sun exposure or UV light exposure (which is also emitted from television and computers) that may trigger lupus flaring and muscle pains.

Family does not understand our pain and sufferings because on the external surface, we look healthy. Lupus is a systemic disease and unless you suffer from discoid lupus where the rashes are apparent, or unless you suffer from lupus nephritis which make you look pale and emaciated, no one knows that you are suffering of a disease which affects you from the inside. Perhaps you can educate your family as to the seriousness of the disease and the need to rest, so they would not assume that you are lazy or making up symptoms to garner intention.

Please join the lupus movement so that you can become a member of our empathetic family. Remember our mantra: "I have lupus but lupus does not have me". Don't make yourself the vessel of your disease. Ask your rheumatologist for adequate treatment so that you can resume activities in your daily life.

I'm back on daily strength after life took me in different directions. Your post touched me on so many levels. I've been through too many times the last few years where I spent more time crying and just telling the world I can't live this way any longer. I could so feel your pain as I feel alot of it myself. We are tougher then lupus cause we manage to fight our way back to a normalcy.
I fully embrace the mantra that i have lupus but it doesn't have me. I like to tell it-I may have to live with you but we're going to do it my way.
You'll be in my prayers tonight.