Lupus Support Group
Lupus is an auto-immune disease in which the immune system cannot distinguish between threats (like viruses and bacteria), and healthy cells and tissue. As a result, the body produces antibodies that inflict cell damage, most commonly targeting joints, skin, kidneys and the nervous system. Join the group and find support for coping with lupus.
I wrote this out as an impulsive facebook status and decided to post it here instead because I'm not one to post drama on facebook. But I have to get it out.
I don't understand why people don't have a bigger filter for things they say. I shouldn't have to tell people "be nice or don't say anything at all to me" cause we aren't in grade school anymore. Idk, maybe I'm different, but I'm more sensitive to people. My nose started randomly bleeding and this girl goes "you're lookin more like a coke-head every day Kerry" ..was that supposed to be funny, cause no one was laughing. Plus I don't like to be accused of doing drugs of all things. I'm getting very frustrated with how people are so stuck on my appearance lately. I'm too skinny, I have bags under my eyes, I'm pale, I'm this, I'm that. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe it takes a toll on someone hearing it all the time cause I'm honestly starting to feel ugly and hate what I see in the mirror. I don't like peoples' pity or sympathy either cause I'm too strong for that, but really try to be in my shoes for one day. Try struggling to get out of bed, having to set an alarm on your phone for every 5 minutes for 2 hours just so you wake up by the second to last alarm going off, and on top of that asking your boyfriend to call you every morning just in case. And sometimes you'll still oversleep and have to skip breakfast and coffee just so you can get a shower in and go to school with wet hair. Try having sharp pains running through your body and having it affect the way you function cause you're dropping shit all the time and getting dizzy from it. Being scared that one day'll you'll get into an accident while driving, and being afraid to take something for it all the time cause you don't wanna damage your liver or give yourself an ulcer on top of everything. Try doing everything you can and still not seeing physical results for a while and have people accuse you of not taking care of yourself and looking like sh*t. And on top of everything, try to still do what you HAVE to do every day, and do it well, like I DO. Seriously, I'd like to see people try that, and tell me it doesn't hurt when you have negativity from others added to all of that. I'm sorry if this is very negative but I'm asking people to just leave me alone if you don't have anything nice to say to me.. It really getting to me. Just talk behind my f*cking back or something like a normal person. No more negative comments on my photos or negative sh*t to my face anymore.
I don't understand why people don't have a bigger filter for things they say. I shouldn't have to tell people "be nice or don't say anything at all to me" cause we aren't in grade school anymore. Idk, maybe I'm different, but I'm more sensitive to people. My nose started randomly bleeding and this girl goes "you're lookin more like a coke-head every day Kerry" ..was that supposed to be funny, cause no one was laughing. Plus I don't like to be accused of doing drugs of all things. I'm getting very frustrated with how people are so stuck on my appearance lately. I'm too skinny, I have bags under my eyes, I'm pale, I'm this, I'm that. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe it takes a toll on someone hearing it all the time cause I'm honestly starting to feel ugly and hate what I see in the mirror. I don't like peoples' pity or sympathy either cause I'm too strong for that, but really try to be in my shoes for one day. Try struggling to get out of bed, having to set an alarm on your phone for every 5 minutes for 2 hours just so you wake up by the second to last alarm going off, and on top of that asking your boyfriend to call you every morning just in case. And sometimes you'll still oversleep and have to skip breakfast and coffee just so you can get a shower in and go to school with wet hair. Try having sharp pains running through your body and having it affect the way you function cause you're dropping shit all the time and getting dizzy from it. Being scared that one day'll you'll get into an accident while driving, and being afraid to take something for it all the time cause you don't wanna damage your liver or give yourself an ulcer on top of everything. Try doing everything you can and still not seeing physical results for a while and have people accuse you of not taking care of yourself and looking like sh*t. And on top of everything, try to still do what you HAVE to do every day, and do it well, like I DO. Seriously, I'd like to see people try that, and tell me it doesn't hurt when you have negativity from others added to all of that. I'm sorry if this is very negative but I'm asking people to just leave me alone if you don't have anything nice to say to me.. It really getting to me. Just talk behind my f*cking back or something like a normal person. No more negative comments on my photos or negative sh*t to my face anymore.
When you're hurting and struggling - it's hard to take comments from others. You walk around like an open wound...and it hurts more than it normally would.
And, it took me a VERY long time to realize that others will NEVER understand what I'm going through unless they experience it themselves.
It's not really realistic of me to expect them to understand.
That being said, I don't have to take any crap from anybody. When someone hits a nerve, I don't mind saying. "Well that's awfully snotty of you to say. If you wanna be snotty, you best do it someplace else."
(I write this as much for myself...at age 38 am just starting to find my voice.)
Hugs,
Tricia
*hugz!