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So I've been feeling pretty well today other than a few aches and pains and some fatigue but other than that, I'm okay considering my day yesterday.
To start off, I don't exactly live in the best situation..so I'm sure most my flare-ups are stress-induced. My husband and I are currently sharing our home with his brother, who is the literal "big bully". He's a 400 pound, 6'7 monster who orders everyone around and is awful to his wife and kids. The other day, the situation got pretty terrible. He and my husband got in an argument over the way my brother-in-law was treating his son and out of nowhere, my brother-in-law proceeds to throw whatever he can find at my husband and he got physical. I told him to stop and to get out of my house if he's going to start fights and he refused. I then said "You're not even strong, you're just a lard who wants to order everyone around with your size." and thus he proceeded to come at me. My husband tried pulling him back but he was too strong and so I started flinging anything i could find at him. I hit him in the head with a container of Comet cleaner, the bleach got in his face. He started calling me every name in the book and telling my husband that he better pray he doesn't get his hands on me. He shouted at me about how I'm lazy, how I never clean and that I stay out late partying all the time. For starters, I'm sick as you all know, it's hard to keep up with chores when you have a husband who doesn't help much and plus you work weird hours, secondly, I've been staying out late over at my parents house to take care of my sick mom who has auto-immune disease and just got over having blood clots. He had no right disrespecting me or getting violent with me in my MY home. (which he also said that house was not mine, but my husbands.) So I've been scared to go home and my husband wont kick him out despite the fact he popped off "What are you gonna do when you're not home and she's here alone?". I'll probably just stay at my mom and dad's until something is resolved. I'm trying not to stress out cause I know it'll just hurt my body even more. I'm super sore in my arms from fighting him yesterday...I doubt I could file anything on him since he didn't hurt me, but he attempted.
So besides all that, I hope everyone is having a wonderful and blessed day :)
To start off, I don't exactly live in the best situation..so I'm sure most my flare-ups are stress-induced. My husband and I are currently sharing our home with his brother, who is the literal "big bully". He's a 400 pound, 6'7 monster who orders everyone around and is awful to his wife and kids. The other day, the situation got pretty terrible. He and my husband got in an argument over the way my brother-in-law was treating his son and out of nowhere, my brother-in-law proceeds to throw whatever he can find at my husband and he got physical. I told him to stop and to get out of my house if he's going to start fights and he refused. I then said "You're not even strong, you're just a lard who wants to order everyone around with your size." and thus he proceeded to come at me. My husband tried pulling him back but he was too strong and so I started flinging anything i could find at him. I hit him in the head with a container of Comet cleaner, the bleach got in his face. He started calling me every name in the book and telling my husband that he better pray he doesn't get his hands on me. He shouted at me about how I'm lazy, how I never clean and that I stay out late partying all the time. For starters, I'm sick as you all know, it's hard to keep up with chores when you have a husband who doesn't help much and plus you work weird hours, secondly, I've been staying out late over at my parents house to take care of my sick mom who has auto-immune disease and just got over having blood clots. He had no right disrespecting me or getting violent with me in my MY home. (which he also said that house was not mine, but my husbands.) So I've been scared to go home and my husband wont kick him out despite the fact he popped off "What are you gonna do when you're not home and she's here alone?". I'll probably just stay at my mom and dad's until something is resolved. I'm trying not to stress out cause I know it'll just hurt my body even more. I'm super sore in my arms from fighting him yesterday...I doubt I could file anything on him since he didn't hurt me, but he attempted.
So besides all that, I hope everyone is having a wonderful and blessed day :)
Seriously though, maybe the solution to your brother-in-law's weight problem is jailhouse food? What you described sounds like criminal assault to me. This guy sounds like he's on his way to a rap sheet that might someday include second degree murder.
Don't underestimate people like him, your life could be in danger. Seems like everyone would be better off if he were locked up. Abusers tend to escalate.
Roughing up a violent person can backfire, they start boiling inside and next time they explode things are worse. There's just no predicting what an unstable individual is liable to do, that's the reality unfortunately. They're like volcanoes...very unpredictable and sometimes very dangerous.
In my experience, the best way to deal with someone like your brother-in-law is not to deal with him...or do it from a long distance away.
There will be a hearing after 90 days or so, then you're granted restraining order.
If you're not safe, no one is safe. Including the mother of that kid...and the soon-to-be-newborn.
It's worth mentioning that the murder rates for women show that 80% of them are murdered by someone they know.
If this guy is unstable...get him out of your home. Let the mother and kids stay, and she might thank you for it, but get him out.
However, you listed another possibility: Staying with your folks. That might do you all the most good. You can stay with your parents and be safe and get well while your husband gets to choose who's most important to him.
Good luck, dear. Abuse is something no-one should have to take. And, we have a disease that responds to abuse almost immediately.
Try soaking in epsom salts (for swelling and joint pain) - it helps while you're in it at least.
I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I knew someone who was murdered by a family member....and the guy sounds very much like the brother-in-law you described.
I hope you feel better.
Whatever you decide, please look after yourself and your health and please don't give this situation a chance to cause you too many flare-ups ... and please make sure, the situation has no chance to get out of hand....
Best wishes and good luck from Kristina.