Hi!

True, hard to let go of conrol sometimes, and I am the same, I keep trying! lol I do love to read, so I have quite a library at home and enjoy music. Many times I have had to make myself stop and smell the flowers, always thinking there is "something I have to do" Believe it or not, the few days a week I work now helps, I would go crazy being at home 24/7! Seeing my kids and grandkids are the best medicine!
Most importantly , is staying away from, toxic, negative situations and people!!
Wishing you peace
xox
Sylvie

I find stress really affects my Lupus, which is tough because like you I have a very stressful job, and I'm also going through probably the most stressful period of my life ever at the moment (to do with a police investigation/me having to be a witness in court) and its really not helping my health!
Anyhow, I've seen the works counsellor a few times and she has provided some really useful relaxation techniques- one which involves tensing your muscles area by area (from feet-head!) and you tense them then let go, it really helps get rid of any physical tension your holding in your muscles. Also I find meditation cds/relaxing music really good, and if your feeling up to it gentle yoga like hata or iyengar.
For me its about making time for myself and ALLOWING myself to be 'selfish' because its for the benefit of my health and its only when I'm healthy that I can benefit others (work better etc). So I try to think of simple little things that I find pleasurable/relaxing- for me one of my favourite things is going for a coffee with a good book or browsing the internet- this is something I can make time for in my lunch break (not everyday but a couple of times a week!) and it help keeps me sane! Also a nice bubble bath with candles/relaxing music helps too.
I'm a lot like you with trying to plan/control things, but you realise with illness and other things that happen in life, things just don't work out how you planned. I had my whole life planned out a few years ago, and you would not believe how different my life is now from what I had planned. But its for the better.....
Take care xxx

Meditation and yoga has changed my life with stress!!
Meditation isn't easy to master but there's studies out saying that it helps stress, improves sleep and decreases pain. I try to meditate first thing in the morning - before I get out of bed. There's some good CD's that can walk you through how to meditate.
When you're in a stressful situation than try to excuse yourself (go to restroom if it's the only place to get away) - take deep long inhales and exhales into your heart. Do this for a few minutes and it should relax your nervous system and calm you down. I like to visualize the ocean when I'm taking deep breaths - it's my peaceful place.
Exercise and eating healthy helps to decrease stress.
Good luck!

I would say listening to calming music helps, just close your eyes and relax to it, turn off the tv or any other distractions and try to not think about anything. Just let your mind rest. We spend so much of our day thinking about stressful things, and putting our bodies through so much. It is no wander we can make ourselves sicker. I have been going through alot of stress myself lately. It takes such a toll on your body, especially when you have an illness. It uses up the precious energy we have. I like to cuddle with my daughter to me it relieves so much of my stress. You will find ways to do it. I find reading strains my eyes and its best to just lay down and not tense your eye muscles, thats why music can be so much better. I would suggest searching on the net and finding something that is comforting and relaxing to you. I like to listen to soft lullabys or things similar. I guess it is a form of meditation.