Lung Cancer Support Group
Lung cancer is a cancer of the lungs characterized by the presence of malignant tumours. Most commonly it is bronchogenic carcinoma (about 90%). Lung cancer is one of the most lethal of cancers worldwide, causing up to 3 million deaths annually. Although lung cancer was previously an illness that affected predominately men, the lung cancer rate for women has been...
I'm 16 years old, and recently witnessed my dad pass away from lung cancer.
My dad was diagnosed in 2012, the summer before my freshmen year in high school. I didn't know much, he didn't like talking to me about it because he himself was scared. But a couple months later, he decided to open up to me. I would come to his doctor appointments with him because my mom had to work. I missed a lot of school to go to my dad's chemotherapy, I wanted to be there for him. I didn't want him to feel like he was alone. It was so hard seeing him so sick, hearing him throw up in the middle of the night, or see him depressed because he didn't have the energy like he used to. The doctors then told my dad that his cancer had spread. I cried so hard when my dad told me he had 6 months to live.
Fast forward a couple years, my dad has surpassed the time the doctors told him. Everything was going great. He was in hospice, which meant a nurse came once a week to talk to him about how he's feeling, adjust his medication, etc. Of course he had his up's & down's, but my dad was strong. He could handle anything. But then the started having these mini seizures, they would only last 5 minutes. So then the nurse gave him medication for that. My dad told me he could tell a couple seconds before he would get a seizure.
This past March, my dad & me went to mall to get a couple things. We were in the parking lot, about to leave the mall. My dad told me that I needed to drive because he doesn't feel well. So we switch spots, & I start to drive. He then starts to have a seizure, I remember the nurse telling me to stay calm when he has a seizure. I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital, & he said no that it will go away soon & to just drive home. 5 minutes go by & I see that the seizure is getting worse. My dad said quietly, almost like a whisper "hospital". When I hear that, I speed to the hospital. I pull up to where the ambulance go, & I see them all standing there. It takes me a minute to start screaming. I don't know why it took me so long to start screaming for help, I felt like I was yelling but nothing would come out. They rushed over & took him out of the car.
After this, It felt like my dad's health just went downhill. When he got out of the hospital he couldn't walk anymore. He was bedridden. He couldn't move his right arm. My dad was so independent before this, it frustrated him that he couldn't do anything for himself. He wouldn't let my mom, me, or my sisters help him. He then got over it, and accepted the help. We had a hospital downstairs in the living room, so he was always around family. We had a routine. My mom would change him before work. I would wake up 2 hours earlier to take my mom to work, 30 minutes away. Drive back, & make breakfast for my dad & then get ready for school. This was during Junior year, the hardest year. It was so hard to focus on school when I was constantly worried about my dad. My grandma would watch my dad while I was at school, & she would leave once I got home. I then took care of him on the weekends. My dad only let my mom or grandma change his diapers. He could pee in a bottle, and then I would empty when it was done. But my mom would change him when he pooped. One day, he pooped when my mom was a work. He started crying because he would have to wait for my mom to get home. I told him that I was going to change him. He said he would not let me do that, I told him I was not going to let him sit in his poop all day, he finally agreed. It got to the point where he couldn't pee in the bottle, and had to pee in his diaper. So I had to clean his front, which was weird but I got over it.
A day before my dad's death, he would barely eat anything or drink anything. My mom was really worried so she called the nurse. Nurse came and told us it would be about a week for him to pass. I cried so much. In the middle of the night, my sister woke up me & my mom. My nephew had a bad dream and woke her up. She then checked on everyone in the house & noticed my dad was breathing differently. We all went downstairs while she called the nurse. She then told us that he will most likely die that night. His eyes were half way open, there was white stuff around his mouth, he was struggling to breathe. My sisters called my aunt & uncle to come & say their goodbyes. my sister & me were sitting on the bed with him, trying to comfort him. My hand was on his chest while my mom gave him a kiss on his forehead. I kept feeling his chest go up & down, wanting it to stay like that forever. It seemed like my dad was content with my mom kissing him on the forehead. Suddenly his chest never came back up. I was in shock, I just witnessed my dad die. After that it was all a blur, the funeral home people came, & took my dad away. Before they did that, they had to bag him. That is something I will never forget, seeing my father being bagged. My sister started screaming & my uncle had to hold her. A man that I loved for 16 years, was lifeless in a bag. We got to say our goodbyes, I kissed him on the forehead and told him I love him so much & will forever love him before they zipped the bag up. After they left, I went to bed.
Since that night, I've been feeling numb. Like this isn't real. There's nights where im up crying for hours. I'm starting my senior year in high school in a couple of days, and I cry thinking how he won't be there to see me graduate. He won't walk me down the aisle, or see my kids. My sisters are 10 & 11 years older than me, married & with kids. My dad knew his grandkids. My nephews & nieces knew their grandpa, they have memories with him. I will never experience that, and it saddens me. My sisters had more time with him than me. I'm just a teenager, I need my dad to guide me. He was there for me, He was the rock in my family. I don't know what to do or how to cope with this. It feels like my family is dealing with this okay, it doesn't look like they're struggling. I've started doing dumb teenager things, & i know my dad would never approve. But it helps me not feel the pain.
Im sorry if this is so long, It felt really good to actually talk about all of this.
My dad was diagnosed in 2012, the summer before my freshmen year in high school. I didn't know much, he didn't like talking to me about it because he himself was scared. But a couple months later, he decided to open up to me. I would come to his doctor appointments with him because my mom had to work. I missed a lot of school to go to my dad's chemotherapy, I wanted to be there for him. I didn't want him to feel like he was alone. It was so hard seeing him so sick, hearing him throw up in the middle of the night, or see him depressed because he didn't have the energy like he used to. The doctors then told my dad that his cancer had spread. I cried so hard when my dad told me he had 6 months to live.
Fast forward a couple years, my dad has surpassed the time the doctors told him. Everything was going great. He was in hospice, which meant a nurse came once a week to talk to him about how he's feeling, adjust his medication, etc. Of course he had his up's & down's, but my dad was strong. He could handle anything. But then the started having these mini seizures, they would only last 5 minutes. So then the nurse gave him medication for that. My dad told me he could tell a couple seconds before he would get a seizure.
This past March, my dad & me went to mall to get a couple things. We were in the parking lot, about to leave the mall. My dad told me that I needed to drive because he doesn't feel well. So we switch spots, & I start to drive. He then starts to have a seizure, I remember the nurse telling me to stay calm when he has a seizure. I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital, & he said no that it will go away soon & to just drive home. 5 minutes go by & I see that the seizure is getting worse. My dad said quietly, almost like a whisper "hospital". When I hear that, I speed to the hospital. I pull up to where the ambulance go, & I see them all standing there. It takes me a minute to start screaming. I don't know why it took me so long to start screaming for help, I felt like I was yelling but nothing would come out. They rushed over & took him out of the car.
After this, It felt like my dad's health just went downhill. When he got out of the hospital he couldn't walk anymore. He was bedridden. He couldn't move his right arm. My dad was so independent before this, it frustrated him that he couldn't do anything for himself. He wouldn't let my mom, me, or my sisters help him. He then got over it, and accepted the help. We had a hospital downstairs in the living room, so he was always around family. We had a routine. My mom would change him before work. I would wake up 2 hours earlier to take my mom to work, 30 minutes away. Drive back, & make breakfast for my dad & then get ready for school. This was during Junior year, the hardest year. It was so hard to focus on school when I was constantly worried about my dad. My grandma would watch my dad while I was at school, & she would leave once I got home. I then took care of him on the weekends. My dad only let my mom or grandma change his diapers. He could pee in a bottle, and then I would empty when it was done. But my mom would change him when he pooped. One day, he pooped when my mom was a work. He started crying because he would have to wait for my mom to get home. I told him that I was going to change him. He said he would not let me do that, I told him I was not going to let him sit in his poop all day, he finally agreed. It got to the point where he couldn't pee in the bottle, and had to pee in his diaper. So I had to clean his front, which was weird but I got over it.
A day before my dad's death, he would barely eat anything or drink anything. My mom was really worried so she called the nurse. Nurse came and told us it would be about a week for him to pass. I cried so much. In the middle of the night, my sister woke up me & my mom. My nephew had a bad dream and woke her up. She then checked on everyone in the house & noticed my dad was breathing differently. We all went downstairs while she called the nurse. She then told us that he will most likely die that night. His eyes were half way open, there was white stuff around his mouth, he was struggling to breathe. My sisters called my aunt & uncle to come & say their goodbyes. my sister & me were sitting on the bed with him, trying to comfort him. My hand was on his chest while my mom gave him a kiss on his forehead. I kept feeling his chest go up & down, wanting it to stay like that forever. It seemed like my dad was content with my mom kissing him on the forehead. Suddenly his chest never came back up. I was in shock, I just witnessed my dad die. After that it was all a blur, the funeral home people came, & took my dad away. Before they did that, they had to bag him. That is something I will never forget, seeing my father being bagged. My sister started screaming & my uncle had to hold her. A man that I loved for 16 years, was lifeless in a bag. We got to say our goodbyes, I kissed him on the forehead and told him I love him so much & will forever love him before they zipped the bag up. After they left, I went to bed.
Since that night, I've been feeling numb. Like this isn't real. There's nights where im up crying for hours. I'm starting my senior year in high school in a couple of days, and I cry thinking how he won't be there to see me graduate. He won't walk me down the aisle, or see my kids. My sisters are 10 & 11 years older than me, married & with kids. My dad knew his grandkids. My nephews & nieces knew their grandpa, they have memories with him. I will never experience that, and it saddens me. My sisters had more time with him than me. I'm just a teenager, I need my dad to guide me. He was there for me, He was the rock in my family. I don't know what to do or how to cope with this. It feels like my family is dealing with this okay, it doesn't look like they're struggling. I've started doing dumb teenager things, & i know my dad would never approve. But it helps me not feel the pain.
Im sorry if this is so long, It felt really good to actually talk about all of this.
ForeverYourSunshine
I am just seeing this but wow I couldn't hold back tears. I hope you're doing ok and managing everything alright. I am 27, much older than you I know. I lost my mom recently to lung cancer and I too watched her take her last breath and I just held onto my oldest sister and just cried. I was breathless and literally felt empty. It still doesn't feel real. Make your father proud like he would want you to do. Live your life right and do good things. He's watching over you. As far as the dumb teenage things to deal with it, I hope all of that came to an end. Please don't take that road, I am pretty sure your father and mother raised you to become a strong woman.
WalkerWife
I hope you are still on this thread but I doubt it. Your story made me cry. Since some time has gone by I thought I would pick your brain. My family is in the same situation now and I could use advice for my kids. My husband, their father has stage iv lung cancer!
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