LOVE ADDICTION Community Group
This forum will help all who wish to recover and gain some tools to be able to cope and deal with the issues stemming from our emotional problems that are hurting our relationships on a day to day basis...The relationship with ourselves as well as others...The solution is here for the taking..
I'm really blown away by relating to all the posts here. I am real grateful to open up to check out this group after some absense and find it so active now.
It's great to see others speaking a language of thoughts, feelings and behaviors I am not used to sharing to anyone but my diary and a former counselor or maybe a sponsor from another program.
I am not in recovery for love & sex addiction / anorexia but I am in 12 step programs for recovery for other issues.
I realize now & believe this love addiction was my first, before food and other substances came in. Yes it is harmful, I find myself really preoccupied, and it affects how I treat people, those "targets" who I obsess / fantasize about and seek to "elicit" the response that I'm looking for to validate my feelings - I like this person and I don't know how to connect normally, I seek to merge physically in space and time, and it's just unrealistic. It's surprizeing to have this come up so strongly recently as I am receiving attention from someone that is stirring up all these old habits. I haven't experience this in a long time. I'm glad I can come here for support.
I enjoy Pia Melody's book but haven't read it in over a decade.
I enjoy Stephen Arterburn's "When you love too much" but I finished it a few years ago. I picked it up last night and I know I have some stuff to work on by reading instead of obsessing / fantasizing.
For me trying to keep all this secret to the person I fawn over is really feeling dishonest, yet I don't want to "blame" the other person for my obsessiveness - I know it isn't the persons fault, and I can switch from one to the other so easily.
I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed to have this problem presenting itself to be dealt with but I know it is important.
It's great to see others speaking a language of thoughts, feelings and behaviors I am not used to sharing to anyone but my diary and a former counselor or maybe a sponsor from another program.
I am not in recovery for love & sex addiction / anorexia but I am in 12 step programs for recovery for other issues.
I realize now & believe this love addiction was my first, before food and other substances came in. Yes it is harmful, I find myself really preoccupied, and it affects how I treat people, those "targets" who I obsess / fantasize about and seek to "elicit" the response that I'm looking for to validate my feelings - I like this person and I don't know how to connect normally, I seek to merge physically in space and time, and it's just unrealistic. It's surprizeing to have this come up so strongly recently as I am receiving attention from someone that is stirring up all these old habits. I haven't experience this in a long time. I'm glad I can come here for support.
I enjoy Pia Melody's book but haven't read it in over a decade.
I enjoy Stephen Arterburn's "When you love too much" but I finished it a few years ago. I picked it up last night and I know I have some stuff to work on by reading instead of obsessing / fantasizing.
For me trying to keep all this secret to the person I fawn over is really feeling dishonest, yet I don't want to "blame" the other person for my obsessiveness - I know it isn't the persons fault, and I can switch from one to the other so easily.
I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed to have this problem presenting itself to be dealt with but I know it is important.
I connect with people deeply and authentically very quickly. I yearn for that deeper connection right away and it has caused me a lot of problems.
Thank you for sharing here.
I couldnt....
If in childhood all i expereinced is withdrawn people and addiction and no feelings or love then how would i know what to look for in adulthood?
I wouldnt!! Therefore i would gravitate to what was familiar and comfortable in life...And that would be what i saw and expereinced as a child...
So thats exactly what i did....
Until i started to look inside myself and tear apart the layers of dysfunction did i start to heal and realize how i was wired....
I found that through a bunch of things...
THERAPY FIRST AND FOREMOST.....SUPPORT GROUP...(12 STEP) MEDITATION OR YOGA OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT PUTS YOUR MIND AT EASE AND ALLOWS YOU TO ESCAPE THE DAILY GRIND!!
and a power greater than myself...AND NO ITS NOT A WOMAN!!! lol
This situation is presenting itself with a new "target". I wonder what kinds of problems happen as a result of yearning for that quick, deeper connection? I wonder if my "vibe" is pushing healthy people away?