LOVE ADDICTION Community Group
This forum will help all who wish to recover and gain some tools to be able to cope and deal with the issues stemming from our emotional problems that are hurting our relationships on a day to day basis...The relationship with ourselves as well as others...The solution is here for the taking..
I need help. Although I married and things are trying to get better I need help. About 4 years ago we lost our daughter in fire. Afterwards my husband began to have an affair. I dealt with it excepting it until all my friends began to call me a fool and say I should do something. We relocated twice to try and deal with the situation, it did not get better so I thought very stupidily that if found someone else he would know what I felt like and ither leave me or stop what he was doing. I ended falling for the guy and supposedly he fell in love with me( im not so sure tho) things got bad, and it ended. Now and cannot even find myself loving my husband the way he deserves. My attempt at making him jealous worked and he stopped his behavior but now I cannot even make love to him. I hate myself for what I done and how I foolishly fell for someone else. How I was talking to all kind of men to fill the void my husband was not doing and leading them on to something I knew would never happen. Some of which really cared and I just treated them like toys. I do not sleep for the flash backs. Please help.
nolaguy
Don't hate yourself for falling for another guy. You can't always control what your heart feels. It will fade if you don't have him in your life anymore.How are you getting along with your husband? Are you both trying equally to make it work? And don't worry about the guys who you treated like toys, they will get over it! You should look inside yourself and ask yourself what would make you happy.
pchamber
Thanks. We are doing ok I suppose. We are not intimate tho, which causes alot of conflict within the relationship. He knows my feelings for the other and so it often causes him to lash out at me. But we are trying to get through it.
nolaguy
How strong are your feelings for the other guy? Do you still keep in contact with him? Which one of you is stopping you from being intimate? you or your husband? Do you want to save your marriage? If you don't get intimate soon, one of you is going to go somewhere else to get it.
pchamber
Really strong and no I have not contacted him in months. Even deleted my facebook because we had several friends in common. It's me in ways and I try to be intimate but now it hurts and I feel like a toliet and only do it to please him. To be honest, i really don't know if I want the marriage. I mean I do but in some ways I wonder what is the purpose, each of us having affairs bringing in other people makes it not worth it in the end.
nolaguy
I think you are right. You are stuck on this other guy. It sucks, but it happens. Even though you may not end up with him ,it is enough to make your feelings for your husband diminish.I figure that your husband is not your soulmate and so why stay. Divorce is common these days and there are plenty of people out there who are dating and looking for love. If you don't find someone at first, would you be happier alone? Just remember, being single again tends to make you re-discover yourself. Sometimes it gets hard, lonely. Sometimes its nice. Either way, I think you will end up being a better person!
pchamber
That's true. I believe my only reason really for staying is that I do not wanna hurt my children. I really appreciate you taking time to read my post and offer you advice.Thank you so much for your advice and support.
Join the Conversation