LOVE ADDICTION Community Group
This forum will help all who wish to recover and gain some tools to be able to cope and deal with the issues stemming from our emotional problems that are hurting our relationships on a day to day basis...The relationship with ourselves as well as others...The solution is here for the taking..
I remember reading somewhere that love avoidants go through withdrawal too although much later than us addicts. I remember reading that their immediate feeling will be of relief upon breakup but then several weeks to a month later they start going through withdrawals too and it hits them hard.
Can anyone confirm this?
My relationship was four months but it was emotionally intense (not to physical though as we both have a fear of intimacy).
She left me after four months because she said something was missing and that she couldn't promise that she would stop seeing other people. But she would never "date" two people at the same time. Huh? My guess is that she already had someone lined up and it will be a short, spectacular flop like all her other relationships the past four years. Ours was the longest by 3 months. Which sadly says alot about my self esteem I guess (didn't realize it til after the fact).
Anyway, love avoidant withdrawal?
Can anyone confirm this?
My relationship was four months but it was emotionally intense (not to physical though as we both have a fear of intimacy).
She left me after four months because she said something was missing and that she couldn't promise that she would stop seeing other people. But she would never "date" two people at the same time. Huh? My guess is that she already had someone lined up and it will be a short, spectacular flop like all her other relationships the past four years. Ours was the longest by 3 months. Which sadly says alot about my self esteem I guess (didn't realize it til after the fact).
Anyway, love avoidant withdrawal?
I admired him, appreciated and respected him. But around 6.5 months I started feeling like we should be moving r/s forward. It did make me a little insecure, and maybe he picked up this vibe. I never initiated calls, texts, of dates, so don't feel like I was needy. At 7 mos. I told him I needed to see him more. Not every day but twice a week would be nice. I said I need to feel his masculine presence more, not in sexual way. He thought I was breaking up and said we should have this conversation in person. I said there is no one else, I love you. He said we would have to see about fixing it. For the first time in 7 mos. he didn't text or call for 2days, the 2nd day he was supposed to come over for dinner and talk. Didn't show. Next day sent text apologizing, he was dealing with "crap". I didn't pressure him. Texted good to see his text. Sorry he was going thru crap but I knew him and knew he'd figure it out! He texted later that night he was just tired and we would talk soon. Next day didn't hear from him. Ran into him at Starbucks next day and he told me he couldn't give me time I needed. I said I didn't mean to pressure him or criticize. I felt disconnected from him and I didn't like feeling like that but didn't want to put pressure on r/s so maybe we should take a break. I could tell the spark in his eyes was gone. He looked uncomfortable. I told him how much respect I had for him but if I was going to be in exclusive r/s I needed to spend time w/that person or I needed to keep my options open. He hugged me I said I do miss you. He said we'll talk more. Haven't heard from him in two days. I'm not going to chase him and pressure him but I miss him! Now that I know he's avoidant I wouldn't have brought it up.
Will he come back on his own? We got along great never fought. I feel like he really loved me by his actions. Please advise!!
I would like more information on how to love a Man who is a love avoidant . When I gave him the no contact at all . Two months later he called me. He said he missed me and didn't want to lose me that he loved me and that I was the one for him. and asked me to take him back. And I did because I still love him. A weak and a half later, when I thought we were moving forward he starting saying things like I wish you weren't so Christian and your not as adventurous as I thought you were. That we needed to be on the same page! I kindly said good and told him I loved him and so did he. I waited two days without contacting him giving space also because I was confused by his sudden negativity! He texted me . Is your phone working? I answered yes He responded okay!!!! And that was that . I didn't hear from for a few days. So I texted him saying I was giving myself a little space as I didn't want to continue getting close to someone who was confused as to what they wanted. I reassured him that I loved him and wanted to make it work. It's been a month and a half and he hasn't contacted me . Any advice.
Warmly'
Confused