Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group
This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.
I have been in an LDR for almost 2 years. Lately our we've been fighting almost everyday...I don't know what to do, all we do is fight about pointless things because we misunderstand each other. I am getting sick of it because it's tearing us apart. He is coming to stay with me soon and I'm just sad because it's still a long time for me...I think that's why we fight so much, because of the distance between us. I want us to learn how to communicate better because I know that will help us in the future. Does anyone have advice on what to do or how reduce the fighting?
You reduce the fighting by not allowing a disagreement to get heated in the first place. Fighting does nothing but raise both partners defenses and that solves nothing. Problems need to be discussed rationally, both partners need to listen to the other and try to get an understanding of where each other are coming from and sometimes you both have to "agree to disagree". One person isn't always right and the other wrong, sometimes it's just a matter differences with no one being right or wrong.
If things start to get heated or look like they will go in that direction, both of you take time to cool off until you can both talk rationally about whatever it is.
Choose your battles wisely. If something has no impact on your life, his life or the relationship then what's the point in arguing about it?
#2 Don't say its when you, you, you do this and this.Take ownership, because it takes two to tangle.
#3 You are in a LDR, so do something loving and spontaneous like: romantic e-mails, remind him why you fell in love with him from the start etc...
#4 I was there. When my bf was getting ready to leave for a year internship I would use time arguing and crying about stupid stuff, rather then using that time effectively to say and show " I love you".
#5 The point of it all is to say, if you love him and he loves you or vice versa show each other and reduce the arguments, because you will find yourself arguing so much, that you argue yourself right into a brake-up. You don't won't that