Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.

1,597 Members

1,336 Posts

0 Online

Tim-Tam3 03/21/2017

Hi, so I decided to join this group because no one can understand what I've been going through and I just hope I can find someone on here who might be going through or has gone through a similar problem.

Long story short I was in a LDR for nearly 5 years. He lives in Texas and I live in Australia but the thing that stands us apart from other LDR couples is we've never met. He says the reason for that is his family is poor so he has no money to come. And my parents don't want me to go see him. He has said for a while he's been trying to come over through his college but it hasn't happened yet. But the big problem is at the beginning of 2015 I cheated on him, (just kissing other people) and I told him and he decided to forgive me. But in 2017 of this year I did the same thing except went further than I had before. So I'll just say it was sexual but I didn't actually do it with that person. Both times I was drunk. We broke up shortly after as I couldn't deal with the guilt. He knows I've cheated again but not the full story on how far I went with the other guy.

I know this is long and I've tried to keep this as short as possible but the reason why I'm on here is now I feel stuck. My friends and family have been telling me I should move on but I'm still holding onto that hope of one day meeting him and everything working out with us. I've never been with anyone else and I'm scared I'll regret giving up on the relationship even though we've never met.

Anyway if anyone could give me some advice on what to do that would be great because since we've broken up I've felt so lost.

Taki 03/22/2017

How old are you? If you're above 18 and can save up some money somehow I don't really think you need your parents' or friends' permission to go and pay a visit to your boyfriend. Either way (to stay or leave) it's a life changing decision you'd be making and my personal opinion is that it doesn't make sense to make such a decision without even meeting once if the only obstacle to you going is "permission". It's not their life, it's yours. Just take necessary precaution (i.e. book your own accommodation at a hotel or budget hostel because planning to stay with a guy you've never met would be silly, take necessary steps to keep in touch with people back home so you can inform them in case of an emergency) and go. If on the other hand if you also absolutely cannot, due to finances etc, then I have no idea. A relationship of FIVE years where you've never met and see no plans of meeting in the horizon either seems pretty dead end to me.

Tim-Tam3 03/22/2017

Thanks, I'll try and see if I can save up enough to meet him and maybe find a way to get there even if my parents don't allow it. It's just hard as my parents are still a big part of my life and I feel as though I may disappoint them by making that type of decision. But you're right it is my life and I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I'm 22

Taki 03/22/2017

:) Do you think it's possible for him to come over if you share the cost? Or even if you go over? Either way, regardless of who makes the journey, it's for the benefit of both right? You BOTH want to meet each other. So it makes sense you both bear the burden for something that benefits you both instead of the sole burden being on one person.

Join the Conversation